The Family that Stays Together
by magan bagan
Summary: The sequel to No One Saw the Pain, Bella and Edward have a long road ahead of them. But they have each other to help them heal. They can finally start their lives together. What problems could possibly arise for the couple now? All human.
1. Opening Pandora's Box

**First off, I wanted to thank everyone that read No One Saw the Pain. You guys were awesome and made writing that fun. Now I hope you enjoy the sequel just as much. This takes place not too long after the first story ended. The parts in italics are little flash back scenes, explaining parts that happened between the end of NOSTP and the beginning of this story. With out further adieu I hope you enjoy.**

**I don't own Twilight. all Stephenie Meyer.

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Chapter One

Opening Pandora's Box

_"Happy Birthday, Bella!" My friend's cried as Edward and I walked into the Cullen's home._

_I blushed furiously, squeezing Edward's hand. "This is toned down?" I whispered to him._

_"Very much so." He kissed my hair. "Please behave."_

_"Come on over here. Let's start this celebration off right." Alice motioned to me._

_Shyly, I made my way into the room and tried not to cringe as I took in all of the decorations. The hundreds of flowers that adorned practically every surface in the living room, the food set up on the coffee table, my birthday cake on top of Edward's piano, and the mountain of presents I had requested not to get on the floor in front of his piano._

_Alice and Jasper hugged me and wished me Happy Birthday. Emmett and Rosalie did the same, Emmett getting a bit too much enjoyment out of watching me squirm and blush._

_Then I went to Carlisle and Esme, they hugged me tightly and each kissed me on the head. They asked me the typical parental questions and playfully warned that if Edward was giving me any trouble I should let them know._

_I tried to ignore the extreme embarrassment that threatened to take over as we sat down to eat. Being a klutz didn't exactly make me jump for joy at being the center of attention._

_Instead, I focused my attention on Edward. Things between us weren't where they were before, but we were getting there. I loved that he was so patient._

_"My present for you is at home, love." Edward smiled at me, his arm around my shoulders. He must have noticed me glancing at the large pile of gifts_

_"Edward, I said that I didn't want any presents." I complained. They had already done so much for me and there was no way that I could repay them. Giving me presents just put us more out of balance._

_He just shook his head and touched his fingers to my lips. "You will like this one, I promise. It didn't cost me any money."_

Jasper sat patiently, waiting for me to answer his question. He was so patient and was really trying to help us. It was amazing how much he had helped us.

I chewed on my lip nervously, not meeting his or Edward's eyes. "I don't want to answer this right now."

"Bella, you knew we would be going here at some point." Jasper said calmly.

"I'm not ready to talk about that. I just want to forget that it happened." I kept my eyes down, unwilling to meet either of their gazes.

"You know that won't help you move on, Bella. Talking about it, facing the problem head on is the only way." Jasper stated soothingly.

My stomach sank. I knew he was right, I was just afraid that by saying it out loud it would make it even more real. "He made me take my clothes off in front of him. Going over my old wounds."

"How so?" Jasper asked.

I bit my lip again. "He ran a knife over the scars he made from the first attack, inspecting my body. He opened the scars on my hips before raping me."

Edward gave my hand a gently squeeze, reminding me that he was there.

"What did you feel as this was happening?" Jasper continued.

"I felt… dirty. I wanted to die, to go back into my little protective bubble so I couldn't feel anything." I sniffled, realizing at that moment that I had been crying. "He did everything he could to bruise and mark me, inflicting pain however he could."

"Go on, Bella. You are doing so well." He encourage me.

My throat felt dry and wanted to close, but I fought back the urge. "I couldn't breathe, and the entire time he kept me tied to the bed completely naked. He seemed to take pleasure in reopening the scars he had made and inflicting new ones, he bit my breasts until they bled and forced himself in me until I screamed from the pain.

"He took the one thing from me that I wanted to save for my husband." I admitted quietly. "All I want to do now is keep my body covered, never let anybody see it. He made me grotesque."

Jasper didn't say anything for a few minutes, letting me cry it out. When I quieted down he cleared his throat to begin again. "When you get out of the shower, do you look at yourself in the mirror?"

I shook my head. "No."

"How about when you change your clothes? Do you take the time to look at yourself?" He asked.

Again I shook my head. "No. If I look, all I'll see is the scars."

_"Edward this is too much." I looked up from the box that held my birthday present._

_He just kissed the top of my head. "Love, nothing is too much for you. Besides, it's been in my family for a long time, it deserves to be worn." He took the bracelet from the box and carefully put it on my wrist._

_"It's beautiful." I whispered._

_The chain was thin and silver and a diamond heart rested in the middle. It was perfect and not overly done._

_"Not nearly as beautiful as you." He smiled and kissed my hand, brushing his lips lightly over my knuckles and eliciting my signature blush._

"How do you feel when you hear these thoughts from Bella, Edward?" Jasper turned his attention to Edward now.

Edward took in a deep breath and let out slowly, seeming to contemplate his response. "It breaks my heart. I hate to see her hurting and not being able to do anything about it."

Jasper nodded, waiting for Edward to continue when he was ready.

"She's hurting because I couldn't protect her." Edward admitted.

"That is not true. You know that I don't think that." I said to him.

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Regardless, I couldn't keep you safe, love. That's what I live with every day."

"Is that what you really think, Edward?" Jasper asked his voice soothing and calm. "Do you really believe that James got to her because of a failure on your part?"

Watching my hand as he ran his thumb over my skin, Edward struggled with himself internally. "No," he groaned out. "I know that it's not my fault."

"Before you came into my life I was dying. You saved me, Edward." I assured him, kissing his cheek.

He nodded, showing that he heard me. "I just… I swore to you that I would keep you safe and then you got taken. I feel like I let you down."

"You did everything that you could. There's no way you or any of us could have known that he could have found me." I hated the fact that he took all of the blame on himself; he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"Okay." Jasper ran a hand through his hair. "I'd like a little word association with Bella. I'm going to say a word and then I want you to say immediately what comes into your head."

I nodded.

He smiled, giving me a chance to relax and clear my head before he started. "Food."

"Cooking." I responded.

"Friend." He said.

"Family." I bit my lip.

Jasper spoke slowly, I guess trying to maintain a since of calm. It was almost impossible to feel uncomfortable or awkward around him. "Home."

"Edward." I smiled.

He gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

"Touch." Jasper shifted the word focus.

"Light." I didn't like where this was going.

"Kiss." Jasper was leaning forward in his chair, closer to me.

"Warm." I felt my cheeks color.

Jasper lowered his voice, looking into my eyes. "Sex."

"Pain." I gasped, realizing what had come out of my mouth. I hadn't meant to say that, why did I say that? My eyes pricked with tears.

"Its okay, Bella." Jasper said with reassurance. "This type of reaction to what you've been through is normal. You've been violated in the worst way, twice. But now that we've established this, I want to work on the healing. Change your view of your body and sex." He sounded completely confident that he could do just that.

Edward let go of my hand and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me to him so I could cry against his chest. He wound his hand through my hair, holding me against him as he whispered words of comfort to me.

When I finished crying I sat up a little, keeping close to Edward so he could still have his arm around me. I loved the security and safety his touch gave me, no longer flinching away from him.

"Bella, I know this isn't easy. You have come such a long way in these few months and I am so proud of your progress." Jasper stood up, a silent signal that our session was at an end. "Edward, it is good that you hold yourself accountable, but you can't always be the hero. You have limitations and that's fine."

Then he whispered something to him. He leaned in so that I couldn't hear and they talked for about a minute. When they finished Jasper clapped Edward on the shoulder and smiled. "Other than our dinner tonight, I'll see you at the same time next week."

I touched my cheek to Jaspers quickly. "Thank you."

_Angela sat in her desk chair and smiled as she read over the last of the revisions I had made for my book. When she finished up she turned her attention toward me, resting her hands on her desk. _

_"Is it alright?" I asked nervously._

_"Bella, it's not even close to alright." She said seriously, before that same smile spread across her face. "It is perfect. You did a tremendous job."_

_I let out the breath I had been unconsciously holding as I waited for her response. This had been really close to my heart and I wanted to be sure I was telling the story right, giving it the justice that it deserved._

_She nodded her head, noticing my relieved expression. "I'm going to get this to Mr. Bryant and then we'll get this printed." Angela started typing on her computer._

_"You know that I won't be able to do the book tour to help promote the book, right?" I asked her. "With everything that's happened, I just don't think it would be a smart idea."_

_Angela nodded. "We'll figure something out, Bella. I'm sure it won't be a problem."_

Edward held my hand as he drove home, our fingers linked together, and we rode together in silence. Neither of us really felt the need to speak.

When we got home we got showered and got ready to go to Alice and Jasper's home for our weekly get together's. I wanted to ask Edward about what Jasper had said to him, but I figured that he would tell me when he was ready.

Once we got to Alice and Jasper's I went into the kitchen and was greeted by her and Rosalie. "Hello."

"Bella." Alice squealed.

Rosalie smiled and slid a glass of red wine toward me.

"Why do I have a feeling I'm not going to like whatever it is that you are dying to tell me?" I very nearly groaned, taking a sip of the wine Rosalie had given to me.

Alice was closing the oven door as she held dinner in her oven mitted hands, before she finally rolled her eyes at me. "You are always so quick to jump to conclusions."

"That's because I know you." I sat down next to Rosalie.

They both had very large bright smiles on their faces and I groaned. "Stop it Bella, it's really not that bad." Alice admonished.

I glared at her and turned my attention to Rosalie, begging silently for mercy.

"Don't worry; we aren't playing Bella Barbie any time too soon." She patted my hand, being unusually quiet about the whole thing.

"Please, will one of you just tell me what it is before I have a panic attack?" I took another sip of wine.

"Okay," Alice stepped around the counter and stood in front of me, taking my hands in hers. "I wasn't purposely looking for this… I just wanted to see what this particular new designer had for his spring line. But, while I was looking I found the perfect wedding dress for you."

My jaw dropped. Wedding dress? Edward and I hadn't even set the date. I was nowhere near ready to even begin thinking along those lines. "Alice! No!" I was furious.

She held onto my hands. "Bella, please don't get upset until you at least see the dress." She pleaded, using the Cullen pout on me.

"Fine." I sighed in defeat. I picked up my glass and walked out of the kitchen.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you." She called after me.

Emmett grinned when he saw me entering the living room area. "Little Swan, you're all red. Is this from embarrassment or anger?" He enquired.

"Right now it's from embarrassment." I went over to Edward and put glass on the coffee table before I snuggled into his side, hiding my face in the crook of his neck.

He laughed at me, wrapping his arm around me. "What's the matter, love?"

I held onto him a little tighter. "You're crazy cousin has taken it upon herself to buy me a wedding dress."

"What's wrong with that? I thought you were going to let her plan the entire wedding anyways." Edward whispered in my ear.

"Edward, we haven't even set the date yet. I just… then we have to plan the honeymoon and I can't even…" I was starting to ramble in my rant.

He seemed to understand what I was trying to say, rubbing my back gently. "We don't have to set the date until you are ready. Don't worry about setting the date until you are ready. I will wait forever for you."

I pulled back a little so that I could meet his eyes. "I don't deserve you." I leaned in and pressed my lips softly to his, enjoying his gentle touch.

"Okay, enough love birds. It's time to eat." Emmett boomed from the dining room.

We both chuckled as we parted. Edward stood up and took my hand in his, helping me to my feet. Everyone sat around the dining room table and we got our food.

The guys talked while Rosalie, Alice, and I sat quietly. Finally, Rosalie looked up from her plate and smiled at me. "Ali and I were thinking of having a girl's night tomorrow. We could go out for dinner and then maybe a few drinks. What do you think, Bella?" She asked me.

I pushed the last of my dinner around my plate. "Sure that sounds like fun."

"Do you want to make a day of it? We could get some lunch and go shopping, maybe get our nails done?" Alice suggested, obviously trying to make up for upsetting me earlier.

"Actually, I have plans tomorrow afternoon." I told her apologetically.

_"Bells, if you don't get your butt out here right now." Jacob warned me._

_I came down the stairs from my bedroom. "Watch it, Jake. This is supposed to be a new beginning, but don't think I won't hesitate to kick you out."_

_"Ha. Like I'm really scared of you, Bells." His 6'7"_ _form towered over me as he stood in front of me. "I'm starving."_

_"Relax; the pizza should be here any minutes." I led him into the living room and we sat on the couch in front of the television. "I just wanted to thank you for giving me space, after everything happened. I really appreciate it."_

_Jacob shrugged his shoulders. "Don't worry about it. I want us to be friends again and for that I needed your trust."_

_I took his hand in mine for a moment. "Well you've got it. Thanks, Jake."_

Rosalie smiled. "That's fine; we can meet at your apartment around 6:00 for dinner then."

I nodded my head. "That sounds perfect."

We finished up dinner and then had desert. We were in the living room when Edward glanced at his watch and noticed how late it was.

Saying my goodbyes to Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie, I turned to Alice last. I smiled at her and hugged her tightly. "I love you, you crazy little pixie Nazi."

Alice giggled and squeezed a little tighter. "I love you, too."

Once we released each other Edward brought me outside to the Volvo and drove us home. No matter how many times I ride with him, I will never get used to his driving.

I noticed Edward standing in the living room as I made my way up the stairs. "Are you coming to bed?"

"Just a minute, love." He flashed his crooked smile at me.

Blushing, I went the rest of the way up to our room and began my routine for bed. I brushed my teeth and pulled my hair back into a pony tail before I went to change my clothes. I stood in the closet in my underwear for a few minutes as I decided on what to wear.

I took a deep breath and pulled on Edward's Dartmouth shirt. It still smelled like him and it felt right. Adding a pair of pajama bottoms to it, I turned the light out and climbed into out bed.

Edward came out of the bathroom and smiled when he saw me. "I love it when you wear my clothes." He climbed on the bed and pulled me to his side.

We looked into each other's eyes, speaking with out words.

He pressed his lips to mine softly. "You are beautiful." He kissed my cheeks. "And precious." He kissed my nose. "And truly amazing. I don't know what I'd do without you."

A few tears escaped my eyes and I tried to dab them away. "Thank you." I pressed my lips to his again and then curled up against his chest, inhaling his incredible scent.

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_Okay here's the thing with With arms open Wide, I was having a lot of trouble starting the next chapter and I know that I promised to work on that story next. I promise you that I will, I just decided to redo it because the story line didn't feel right to me. I promise it will be worth the wait and once I finish it I will start posting for it again soon._

_Please don't be too angry with me._


	2. Something borrowed and Something blue

I don't own Twilight. all Stephenie Meyer.

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Chapter Two

Something borrowed and Something blue

I woke up warm and content, cuddled safely in Edward's arms. Lifting my head slightly, I saw that Edward was still asleep. I bit my lip, trying not to giggle, as I watched him continue on in slumber.

He seemed so relaxed and at peace when he was asleep. Even though he had been the one to find me, Edward still managed to blame himself for what happened and was taking it just as hard as me. Dark circles always seemed to be formed under his eyes and he was on edge whenever he had to leave me.

Being separated from each other still wasn't easy, but we were working on it. Edward only seemed to be anxious when he knew that he was leaving.

Softly, so as not to wake him, I placed a few kisses on his chest.

He had been taking such wonderful care of me since the attack; I decided to take care of him that morning. I wanted to make him breakfast.

I pressed my lips to his softly one more time before I carefully climbed out of the bed. Quietly I made my way out of the room and down to the kitchen.

Gathering the ingredients I would need for blueberry pancakes, I got to work. It had been awhile since I made food for us and I wanted to do something nice for him.

Once I had the food set up on the table I got some orange juice from the fridge.

"What's all of this?" Edward stood in the door way to the kitchen, yawing and rubbing one of his eyes sleepily.

I closed the door to the fridge. "I thought I'd make us some breakfast. You've been doing so much for me, I figured this was the least I could do." I admitted.

Edward smiled, his beautiful crooked grin, and for the first time in a long time it reached his eyes. They danced and teemed with delight as he pulled me into his arms and placed a kiss on my forehead. "Thank you."

My cheeks flushed. "You're welcome." I hugged him and then pulled back so that he could sit. I poured us each a glass of juice and then sat next to him. "What are your plans for today?" I asked after eating a few bites.

"Emmett and Jazz thought we could go play a round of golf and then we were going to come back here and watch some football." He looked over at me.

"That sounds like fun. You need to spend some time with your brothers." Even though we were working on being able to spend time apart, it still made me uneasy to be away from him. I felt it deep inside of me whenever he had to go. It wouldn't go away until I felt his touch again, held his hand in mine.

He smiled at my words and pulled my chair a little bit closer to him. "I need to spend time with my amazing fiancé," he mumbled before leaning in to kiss me.

I smiled into the kiss, unconsciously winding my fingers through his hair. "I'll be all yours on Sunday. I promise." I murmured against his lips.

"Just a few more minutes. That's too long to wait." He said, cupping my cheek in his hand as he continued to play his lips over mine.

We hadn't kissed like that in a long time, it felt so good.

Giggling breathlessly, I pulled back and pressed my forehead to his.

"Promise me something." Edward was breathing just as hard as I was.

"Anything." I told him.

He continued to hold my face in his hands. "Promise me that you will be safe."

Feeling my cheeks getting even redder than before, I leaned forward and kissed him. I let my lips move in synchronization with his before pulling back slightly and giving him tiny kisses. "I promise." I managed to whisper.

Edward pulled me into a hug, nuzzling his face in my hair and breathing in deeply. "Thank you." He breathed out, chuckling when I shivered.

We finally got back to eating our breakfast, continuing to discuss our plans for the day. I assured him that I would not separate myself from Alice or Rosalie the entire evening and I promised to call him if anything happened.

That seemed to appease him and he offered to do the dishes while I went upstairs to get dressed.

I took a shower, not caring that I spent an extra long time under the hot water, and then got dressed. I blow dried my hair until it was straight and then put on my favorite Converse sneakers.

Bounding the stairs, I didn't really pay attention to what I was doing and got my foot caught on the last step. I got twisted as I went flying and landed flat on my back with a loud thud. "Ow," I managed to moan.

Edward rushed over to me, stooping down to me. "Are you alright, Bella?" He checked me over carefully for any injuries.

"I think so." It took me a couple of seconds to speak, the wind had been knocked out of me with that fall. "Just give me a minute."

He helped me sit up and waited as I regained my bearings. "What am I going to do with you?" He shook his head, laughing.

Glaring at him, I tried to stand up on my own, but ended up falling again.

This only seemed to increase his laughter as he sat down next to me on the floor.

I tried to remain angry at him for making fun of me, but I couldn't. I chuckled along with him, my laughter growing as I went.

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest as we continued to laugh, gasping for air.

When our laughter finally started to calm down, I looked up into Edward's eyes. "I haven't laughed like that in such a long time. It felt good."

"Yes it did." Edward kissed my forehead. "Let me stand first and then I'll help you up." He insisted, waiting until I nodded before he attempted to get up.

Once he was on his feet he leaned over and scooped me up in his arms.

"What are you doing?" I tried to kick my legs in an attempt to get him to put me down, but he just held me tighter.

Laughing, he walked with me to the elevator. "I'm saving you from yourself, love. Would you like me to carry you to the car?" He teased.

I glared at him again. "I think that I can manage on my own." I huffed as I pushed the button to call for the elevator.

Edward was smirking at me, amused as I searched for my purse. He picked it up from the hallway table and held it out to me along with my jacket. "Tell Jacob hello for me."

Being angry with Edward was almost an impossibility when he looked at me. I couldn't think straight, my thoughts became foggy as I stared into his beautiful emerald eyes. "I will. I love you."

The elevator dinged and the doors opened. I stepped into the elevator and smiled when I saw that Edward was blocking the doors from closing.

He leaned down so that he was eye level with me and held my face gently in his free hand. "Please be safe. And I know." He pressed his lips delicately to mine for a moment. "I love you, too." He stepped back, allowing the doors to close.

I stood there, completely breathless as the elevator went down. I couldn't think or move for a minute, completely lost in an Edward haze.

When the elevator door dinged I stumbled out, trying to wipe the huge grin off that I'm sure was plastered on my face. I got to the Volvo and sat in the driver's seat for a minute before I drove off.

Jacob was meeting me at an auto shop. He had ordered a bunch of parts for the car that he was restoring and figured he'd pick them up while he was hanging out with me. He finally moved to Seattle and we were finally able see more of each other.

I had really missed him.

So, I drove carefully to the shop and squealed when I saw Jacob leaning against his car waiting for me. I impatiently put the car in park and turned the ignition off before jumped out and ran over to him, tripping along the way.

He caught me in a hug, holding me close. "I've missed you, Bells."

"Me, too." I whispered. "So, what are we doing this afternoon?" I asked, stepping back so that I could look into his eyes.

"That's up to you, Bella. I don't have any plans except to buy the parts that I need." He smiled my smile, making sure that I was steady on my feet before releasing me.

I followed him into the shop and waited while he talked with the guy behind the counter. Normally I would have suggested us going for a ride, but it was raining and I wanted to stay warm. "How about we go back to your place? We can hang out in the garage like old times?" I suggested as we left the store.

He smiled. "Okay. Just follow me, I know how easily you get lost and I don't feel like having to hunt you down." He snickered.

"Jerk." I hit his arm before I went over to my car.

Even though I had lived in Seattle since college, there were still some places I was unfamiliar with and Jacob just happened to have moved to one of those areas. I tried to drive carefully so that I could find his place easily, but I always managed to get turned around and he just couldn't let me live it down.

About twenty minutes later we were warm and dry in his garage. I was sitting on the floor in front Jacob's car while he had his head under the hood. We slipped back into our old routine and it felt nice.

"So, how's therapy going?" His voice was slightly muffled as he spoke.

I let out a sigh, leaning back on my hands. "Okay I suppose. It's not easy talking about what happened and how much it's affected me."

He didn't say anything for a few minutes. "But do you feel like it's helping you though?" He finally asked me.

"Yeah. Before I started going the only man I could be in a room alone with was Edward, and even then I was terrified." I admitted. "Now I can hang out with you and only get upset if you're being obnoxious." I tried to give him my most innocent smile when he lifted his head up from what he was doing.

"Right." He went back to work. "Hey, Bells, how are the wedding plans coming along?"

I groaned at the reminder, hearing him chuckle at my discomfort.

"They are not coming." I finally told him.

"Why not?" He hissed and shot up, waving his hand in the air for a few seconds. "I thought you guys were planning to get married right away."

My cheeks flushed. Stupid involuntary responses. "Jake, this isn't something that I like to talk about okay."

He just rolled his eyes at me. "Come on, Bells. This is me you're talking to, the guy that sat by your side while you vomited your guts out when you had that stomach flu. I don't think you ever have to worry about me embarrassed around me."

I glared at him. Of course Jacob would remember one of my more embarrassing moments from high school. "Why are you so interested in my engagement to another man anyway? I thought it would be taboo for you."

"Dig the knife in a little deeper, Bells." He mocked, walking over to his tool drawer, picking up a rag as he searched for what he needed. "I just figured that you could use someone to talk to. I know how Alice can be." He shrugged his shoulders.

"No argument here." I chewed on my lip, trying to decide if I should talk to him. "I just… I'm not ready for any of it. What kind of person does that make me?" It all started coming out like a flood. "I love Edward so much, he is everything to me, but the idea of getting married right now is terrifying.

"What if on our wedding night I spend the entire time locked in the bathroom? What if when he sees me he's thoroughly disgusted? What if I can't get pregnant?" A small sob escaped my lips.

Jacob pulled me into his arms. When had he come from across the room to me? He held me close while I sobbed hard against his chest. "Bells," he waited until my tears had finally subsided before he spoke, "if Edward really loves you then none of that will matter."

"I can't lose him. He's the only reason I've made it this far." I whimpered, my words muffled by his shirt.

"Maybe you should talk to Edward about this. He deserves to know what's going on in that head of yours." He told me.

I knew he was right, but it was not going to be an easy conversation. I pulled back from him and wiped the tears away. "I'm fine now Jake."

He looked into my eyes for a second and then got up and went back to work.

The rest of the afternoon was spent with me yelling at Jacob for being obnoxious and him giving me his big cheesy smile, trying to make it all better. Even though he annoyed the hell out of him I loved having him around.

I drove back to the apartment and was greeted by Alice and Rosalie in the garage. "What is that in your hands, Ali?" From the looks of it I had a pretty good idea, but I still had to ask.

"Your wedding dress, of course." She giggled and walked passed me to the elevator to press the button to call for it. "I know you think that I don't know or understand what you're feeling, but you're wrong." She told me as the doors opened.

Rosalie linked her arm through mine when we got on the elevator. A small bag in her free hand as well. They were planning an evening of torture.

"We have known each other for eight years. You are my best friend and my sister." Alice told me. "You'll thank me for this someday."

"Doubtful." I glared at her, stepping off of the elevator when it reached the apartment.

Edward was still out with Jasper and Emmett; they probably wouldn't be back for at least another hour.

"This won't be nearly as bad as you imagine." Rosalie tried to assure me.

"Come on, up to the bedroom." Alice pushed against my back to get me to move toward the stairs. She was cheery the entire way up and squealed when we reached the room.

I became nervous when she locked the door. "You're not planning to kidnap me are you?" I tried to joke.

She just rolled her eyes. "That is just in case the boys get back before I can put the dress back into the bag. Now." She grinned over at Rosalie.

"As is tradition," Rosalie held up her small bag, shaking it slightly in my face, "we have a couple things for you to wear during the ceremony. You're something borrowed and something blue." She pulled out a white and blue corset.

"What is with you two and putting me in corsets? Do I look like I work in a saloon?" I half joked.

They both laughed. "You need undergarments for the dress and this is perfect." Rosalie watched me for a reaction, a look of apprehension on her beautiful features.

No matter how much I wanted to say no, I couldn't disappoint such a face. She and Alice both knew just how to get me to agree with whatever they wanted.

I finally groaned my agreement and took the corset from Rosalie's hand and went to the bathroom to change. There was no way I could get away without trying it on for them so I didn't even try.

Once in the bathroom I turned away from the mirror and pulled my shirt off. I didn't want to see the long scar going down the center of my chest or all of the marks he had inflicted on my breasts. I unhooked my bra, trying to clear my thoughts, and slipped the corset on. I slipped my jeans off and then opened the door.

"You look incredible, Bella." Alice trilled, holding the white gown out for me. "Humor me, please." She insisted as I reluctantly stepped into the opening of the skirt so that she could put it on.

Closing my eyes tightly, I waited as she pulled it up and zipped it. I tried to think of anything else as Alice went through her measurements, fitting the dress for me.

When she finally finished I opened my eyes. "Can we get this off now please?" I asked hopefully.

Rosalie just shook her head at me. "Bella, you really do look amazing. Why don't you just look in the mirror?"

I bit my lip, weighing my options and decided that I would have to see how the dress looked on me eventually. So, after taking a few deep breaths I turned my body around slowly toward the bathroom.

A full length mirror was on the wall in between the door to the bathroom and the door to the closet. I caught my reflection and nearly gasped and what was looking back at me.

The dress was strapless, just high enough so that my cleavage would show, with beautiful beading along the bodice. There was a sash along the waist line that was slight blush color and the skirt of the dress was the same white silk as the top. Thick layers of tulle added a little more body to the dress.

Standing next to me I noticed my sweet yet over anxious best friend bouncing with excitement. "So, what do you think?" She finally asked me.

Begrudgingly I let out a groan. "It is a beautiful dress, Ali. You definitely out did yourself with this one."

A loud shriek erupted from her lips and she clapped her hands together in excitement at my admission.

"But, this in no way means that I have set a date for the wedding or am ready to for that matter. Don't start picking out china patterns and calling caterers yet alright." I pointed to the back of the dress to get one of them to unzip me. "I need to talk to Edward about this before we even consider planning."

"No problem." Alice started bobbing again, unable to control her excitement.

Once I was finally out of the dress and corset and back into my comfortable jeans and t-shirt I realized how starving I was.

Down the street from our apartment building was a really good Italian restaurant so Alice, Rosalie, and I walked there after Alice put the two bags in the back of Jasper's car. Then we went to a small bar for our customary margaritas. Rosalie regaled us with the story of her and Emmett's last anniversary celebration.

She was very proud of her bear of a husband and wasn't shy at all about sharing their intimate details.

I eventually had to cover my ears and glare at her until she finally got the hint. It felt good to be with the girls and laugh, even though I spent most of the night redder than a cherry tomato.

We got back to the apartment around 11:00 and were greeted by Emmett's boisterous yelling at the television.

Edward got up from the couch and came to greet me as I put my jacket on the coat rack. "Hello, love." He scooped me up in his arms, hugging me tightly to him.

"I missed you, too." I giggled, placing a small kiss on his collarbone.

He laughed. "You have no idea," he whispered in my ear before setting me down on my feet.

"You ready to go home, honey?" Jasper asked Alice, grinning when she nodded. "This has been fun. I will see you all of you guys Friday." He shook Edward's hand and then Jasper's.

"We should probably head home to big guy." Rosalie smiled at her husband.

"Right." He turned his attention to me. "See you later little Swan. Try not to do anything funny while I'm gone." He scooped me up in a hug and ruffled my hair after setting me down.

I glared at him as he went to climb on the elevator. "I'll try not to Raggedy Andy." I smirked at him in triumph.

His jaw dropped as the elevator doors closed.

Edward rubbed my shoulders. "Care to share what that was about." He said amusement evident on his face.

"Just a funny story Rose told us tonight." I chuckled, leaning back so that I could see his face. "I'm going to go upstairs and get ready for bed. Can we talk after that?"

He leaned down and kissed me softly on the forehead. "Of course. I'm just going to clean up down here a little and then I'll be right up."

I went up the stairs to our bedroom and quickly changed into a pair of sweat pants, brushing my teeth and scrubbing my face last. I came out and got settled on the bed, noticing that the light was on in the closet, meaning that Edward must be changing.

"Okay, Bella." Edward came out and got settled on the bed next to me. He took one of my hands in his, lacing our fingers together. "What would you like to talk about?"

"Do you remember when I got upset yesterday about Alice buying my wedding dress?" I continued after he nodded. "Well, I haven't been ready to deal with that yet because I'm afraid that I won't be able to give you what you need. I want us to be able to make love and to have a happy marriage.

"I want us to have children. But," I hesitated for a second, afraid to say the words to him, "I don't know if I can. Edward, I love you so much and I can't imagine my life without. I'm just… I'm afraid I won't be able to please you."

Edward, let go of my hand and took my face in his hands. "Isabella, how could possibly think that." He shook his head, fighting a smile. "I don't think that there is any way that you could not please me. Do you have any idea what you do to me?" He stroked my cheek softly with his thumb.

My cheeks turned bright red.

"The idea of us having children has crossed my mind a few times, but as long as I have you it doesn't matter if we do or not." He grinned, his perfect crooked smile lighting up his features. "I love you."

I felt my head becoming slightly foggy.

"Breathe Bella." He whispered.

I let out the breath I had been unconsciously holding. "Do you really believe that?" I asked him, my voice barely above a whisper.

He nodded his head, moving his hands from my face down to my waist. "Very much so." He was thoughtful for a moment. "Do you want to know what Jasper said to me yesterday before we left his office?"

"Only if you want to tell me." I didn't want to pry.

"Jazz told me to tell you just how beautiful you are, the things that I love the most about you, show you just how important you are to me." He had pulled me into his lap, his hands laced together and resting on the small of my back.

That made me blush even more than his little speech. I had never been very good and taking compliments.

He smiled, kissing one of my warm cheeks. "We're going to start off slow and I'll tell you one of my favorite things about you that's on your body." He lifted his right hand and brought it up to my mouth, tracing the along the left corner of my bottom lip.

"Right here, there's a small freckle. Every day I get to kiss it and it's the perfect spot." His voice was lower, huskier, velvet. "Right where all of your beautiful thoughts come out, letting me know just what's been going on in that head of yours."

A few tears fell from my eyes. "Edward," I barely managed to get out.

He wiped away one of the stray tears that slid down my cheek.

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his in a sweet kiss. When I pulled back he pressed his forehead to mine and let out a sigh of contentment. "I love you, too." I murmured.


	3. A test of True Love

I don't own Twilight. all Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

Chapter Three

A test of True love

Sunday had been absolutely perfect. Edward and I didn't leave the apartment the entire day; we just curled up together on the couch and read or watched movies. It felt nice to be in our own little bubble, the rest of the world forgotten for that time.

We lounged around the apartment, ignoring any phone calls and emails.

At one point I talked him into playing my lullaby for me. It had been such a long time since he played it. I melted as the notes filled the air.

He made me dinner that night and then put on some music on, massaging my feet while I read for a little while.

It seemed almost criminal for the day to end, but eventually it did.

Edward held me close all night, keeping my nightmares away. His amazing scent enthralling my senses and the gentle hum of his voice lulled me to sleep, keeping me safe and warm.

"Good morning, Bella." Edward softly whispered in my ear.

I felt my body stirring, bringing me back to consciousness slightly. "Mmm?"

He chuckled. "Good morning, my love. I have to go to work now." He pressed a kiss to my temple, running his index finger along my other cheek.

"No," I moaned. "Stay here with me. It's too early to be awake." I mumbled sleepily.

Laughing, Edward leaned down and brought his lips to my ear. "I won't be long, love. Get some more sleep, have lunch with Alice and Rosalie, and I promise it won't be that long until I'm home." His lips lingered in the spot just below my ear before pressing a kiss against the skin.

I blushed. "I love you, Edward."

He kissed my temple again, chuckling. "I love you too, Bella." He held me to him for another minute and then released me. "Sleep well, love."

Snuggling back under the covers I whispered a goodbye to him and drifted off to sleep again.

When I woke up again and started getting ready for the day I had a strange feeling that something wasn't right. I couldn't quite place why or what it was, but in my gut I knew that something was different.

I checked my email and spent some time communicating with Angela before I left to meet Alice and Rosalie at our usual restaurant.

They greeted me cheerily when I got there and we ordered our food quickly.

Alice wanted to discuss throwing an anniversary party for Carlisle and Esme next month and I was glad that she had moved on from the subject of my wedding. I listened to the plans that she and Rosalie came up with, offering ideas here and there.

I was pleased that Carlisle and Esme's party seemed to take up the majority of our conversation.

Pretty soon they had to get back to work so I offered to take care of the check. It took some coaxing and pleading to finally get them to agree. I hugged them both and waved as they left.

My phone rang as I was signing the receipt and I saw that the call was from Charlie. "Hello?" I answered as I picked up my purse and left the restaurant.

"Hey, kiddo." Charlie sounded cheery.

"Is everything okay, Dad?" I asked, wondering if I should be concerned.

Charlie chuckled. "You worry too much, Bells. Everything is fine, I just missed you."

I got to my car and climbed inside, relaxing at his words. "Sorry. I miss you too, Dad." Not talking to him when I left home had been really hard on the both of us. I couldn't handle talking to him at that time and I felt horrible for leaving him out of my life.

"Are you doing alright, Bella?" He took on his fatherly tone.

"Yeah. I'm doing pretty well, Dad." I bit my lip as I stared at the clock in my car; there were some errands that I wanted to run before going home. I wanted to make sure to be home before Edward. "Listen, I have some things to take care of, but I promise to call you tomorrow."

"That's fine." He sighed for a moment before he spoke again. "I love you kiddo. No matter what."

I got a little choked up for a moment. Charlie usually never took the time to express his feelings. "I love you too, Dad." We said our goodbyes and I ended the call.

Holding onto the steering wheel, I took a few minutes to compose myself.

I wanted to get some flowers for the apartment and some ingredients for Edward's favorite meal. After spent the whole day yesterday taking care of me, I felt the need to do the same for him.

So, I turned my car on and pulled carefully out into the street once I was sure that no one was coming.

After only a couple of hours and trips to two different stores, I was able to procure everything that I needed. I bought a couple of bouquets of flowers. For the kitchen I got some blue tulips and then for the bedroom I got a combination of orange blossoms, lilacs, roses, and freesias. The scent with all of them combined was heavenly.

Once back at the apartment I got straight to work. I found vases for the flowers and set them up. Then I got started on dinner.

That took up most of my time and attention, thoroughly occupying my attention the rest of the afternoon. I didn't even realize the time as I took dinner out of the oven and heard the elevator ding.

I rushed carefully, yet excitedly, to the front room.

Edward put his jacket up and walked up to me, rubbing his eyes in an irritated manner and I paused.

Something was off. His posture was rigid and his lips were in a tight line. When he looked into my eyes I saw that they were off too. The normal playfulness I saw dancing in them was gone, now they looked sad.

My heart lurched into my throat as he stood in front of me, panicking rising to the surface. "Edward, what is it? What's wrong?" I croaked out.

"Do you remember last month when I told you about a medical conference being held in Philadelphia?" His voice was rough, hard, as he spoke.

I thought back, remembering that he mentioned they had some really good lectures lined up this year. "Yes," I nodded.

"Well, one of the speakers backed out at the last minute and my boss has asked me to fill in. I have to leave tomorrow." His voice got lower as he spoke, catching slightly at the end. "I won't be home until late Thursday night or early Friday morning."

The words were clear, but it took me a few minutes to make since of them. It felt like all of the air had been knocked out of me as I finally understood what he had said to me. "You… you have to go?" My voice sounded so small and feeble to my ears, barely above a whisper.

He finally nodded his head slowly.

My legs nearly gave out on me. Edward closed the gap between us and wrapped his arms around me to keep me from falling. We hadn't been apart since James kidnapped me again.

All day, that's what I had been feeling. This was what had changed.

I knew I was being irrational, but I couldn't help it. Being apart from him hurt.

"Shh, it's alright." Edward tried to soothe me as tears I hadn't even realized that I had been crying ran unheeded down my face.

Hiccupping between sobs, I tried to talk. "H-how will i-it be a-alright when we're n-not to-together?" I buried my face back into his chest.

Edward picked me up carefully and brought us over to the couch. He sat me in his lap and rubbed soothing circles on my back as I cried into the crook of his neck. His face was buried in my hair, the tears he had been crying wetting my neck.

When we both settled down, our tears finally subsiding, Edward took my face in his hands and looked into my eyes. "You know that I don't want to do this, Bella."

"Please don't go, Edward. I know that I'm being over emotional and irrational, but… please." I was begging and couldn't find it in me to care.

A pained expression crossed his features and he closed his eyes. "Bella."

I adjust myself on his lap so that I was facing him a little better. "Please. Or take me with you. Please."

"You are the most dangerous creature I have ever met." He kissed my forehead delicately. "Bella…"

Tears began falling down my cheeks again. "We have been doing so well, Edward. I hate being apart from you, please." My voice broke. "Please."

His eyes met mine again and I could see the wheels turning, his hesitancy at giving an outright no.

In a desperate attempt to sway him I pressed my lips to his, running my fingers through his beautiful bronze locks. I thought maybe he had given in when I felt him responding to me, our lips moving in perfect synchronization.

Weighing my options, I tried to decide if I was ready for the next step. Deepening the kiss. It was a big step, one that I had been considering for a while.

Finally, I parted my lips slightly and lightly ran the tip of my tongue along his bottom lip.

He froze for a second, but opened his mouth and allowed me to deepen the kiss, tightening his arms around me and pulling me closer to him.

My body was trembling, not only from the fear of him leaving, but also from the intimacy of the kiss. I didn't want to be scared anymore, I wanted us to be where we were before everything happened.

Edward pulled my bottom lip in between his and gently sucked and nibbled on it, causing my head to spin. He finally softened the kiss to gentle pecks, trailing his lips along my jaw until he reached my ear. "Do you have any idea how difficult you are making this for me? Refusing you?"

I wanted to protest, but couldn't.

"Love," he stopped his kisses, "I don't want to leave you either. The thought is driving me insane, but I can't refuse my boss. And, you have to be here for when your book comes in from the printers."

I knew that he was right. "Isn't there any way?" I made one last attempt.

He kissed the hollow of my throat, blowing his warm breath out in a sigh. "You have no idea how much I wish that there was, my love."

Without another word I snuggled closer into Edward, resting my head against his chest. He kissed the top of my head and ran his fingers through my hair.

After a long while we got up from the couch. "Oh no. Your dinner is probably freezing by now." I pouted.

"That's alright." He pressed a kiss to my temple. "How about you go upstairs and get ready for bed. I'm going to heat some food up and I'll meet up there."

I nodded and made my way to the stairs.

Once in our room I changed into my sweats and went into the bathroom to brush my hair. I noticed my reflection in the mirror, hardly recognizing myself. My eyes were the same color they had always been and my features were more or less the same as well.

Chewing on the right side of my bottom lip, that's when I noticed the little freckle that Edward had pointed out yesterday. He really did pay attention to me.

Ugh! In less than twelve hours he was going to be on a plane headed all the way across the country and he would be gone for three days. What if something happened to him while he was gone?

Feeling the brink of more tears coming on, I quickly pulled myself together and went out into the bedroom.

To my surprise, Edward had turned out the lights and lit some candles. He was sitting, already clad in his pajamas, in the center of the bed with two plates of food in his hands and two glasses of wine on the bedside table.

I gasped.

"This way we really don't have to spend a moment apart. I'll pack before going to sleep, but…" He trailed off, smirking.

Without saying a word I climbed on the bed next to him and kissed his lips softly.

He smiled when we parted and then handed to me one of the plates and glasses of wine. Apparently he had put a DVD in beforehand as well and turned it on.

I barely paid attention to what we were watching, eating slowly. Once I was full I put my plate and glass on the table next to me and then snuggled into Edward's side.

Neither of us felt the need to speak. He just wrapped his arms around me and held me, running his fingers along my spine and placing gentle kisses against my hair every so often.

Edward shut the movie off eventually when he noticed that I was becoming sleepy. He pulled the covers back and set me back on the sheets. "I'm just going to pack, love." He whispered.

I nodded and climbed under the covers while he went to the closet. I snuggled into the pillows on his side, inhaling his wonderful scent.

A chuckle came from the end of the bed and I blushed at being caught. "Don't be embarrassed, Bella. I do that, too." He winked at me.

Very carefully, Edward folded his clothes and put them piece by piece into his bag. Underwear, socks, shoes, toiletries, he checked to make that he had everything and then zipped up the bag and put it on a chair close to the door.

He climbed into the bed next to me, pulling me in close. "I love you."

I placed a couple of kisses on his neck before whispering, "I love you, too," and closing my eyes.

The morning came all too soon. I woke up and reached out for Edward, but he wasn't there. I didn't hear the showering running, so he must have been downstairs.

Quickly I brushed my teeth and hair and rushed down the stairs.

Edward was coming out of the kitchen when I got there. He came over to me and scooped me up in his arms, crushing me to him. "I love you, Isabella Swan." He pressed his lips to mine in a sweet tender kiss.

It was meant to be quick, but I wasn't going to have that. I tried to deepen it, wrapping my arms around his neck.

He groaned when I ran my tongue along his lower lip and pulled back. "I'll call you tonight, love."

"Okay." I tried to keep myself together, biting my lip. "I love you, too."

Placing me back on my feet, he kissed my temple lightly and then stepped back. He grabbed his bag that was by the couch and pressed the button for the elevator.

I watched him as he climbed on and the doors closed.

Tears and violent sobs threatened to break through, but I used every ounce of strength that I had to keep it together.

Busy. I had to keep busy, keep my mind occupied.

Shower, shave my legs, clean up around the house.

What else could I do to stay busy?

Cook, call Charlie, visit Jacob for a few minutes.

How could it only be 2:00?

Go into the office, pick up a pizza, head home.

I had barely bitten into a slice of pizza when the elevator dinged. Stepping out of the doors were Alice, Rosalie, and Esme.

Without me even having to say a word all three of them came over to me and embraced me in a hug. It felt nice to know that I wasn't alone. We all went into the living room and they helped me eat the pizza.

"It will get easier, Bella." Alice assured me, patting my foot. We were sitting on one of the couches and she insisted on painting my toe nails. I looked up at her questioningly and she smiled. "Being apart."

My chest got tighter. How could being apart like this ever get easier? It took so much effort for us to stand being away from each other when we had work.

"Perhaps easier is the wrong word." Esme said from behind me, she was allowing me to lean back on her, lying on her arm. "It becomes slightly tolerable. I don't think that it's ever easy, but you find a way to cope."

"It's been even more difficult since the attack. Just making it through the day was a strain, now we have three." I wiped away the traitor tear that had fallen. "I'm constantly worried about him."

Esme lifted her arm so that I was resting against her side and I felt her running her fingers through my hair. "Dear, I know that it's difficult now. After all of these years, I still get those feelings whenever Carlisle goes away." Her voice was soft and soothing.

"Just remember that you have us, Bella." Alice smiled her pixie like features bright. "You are never alone."

"Thanks guys." I sighed.

Rosalie smiled. "Is there any ice cream in the fridge?"

I nodded.

She got up and disappeared into the kitchen. A few minutes later she came out carrying a tray with bowls of ice cream and spoons. "So, now I insist that we stuff our faces full of sugar and watch a movie."

Alice and I immediately looked at each other and grinned.

"Oh no." Rose groaned as she gave us each a bowl. "Don't you ever get sick of that movie?"

Giggling, I got up and put the DVD in. "Of course not. That's inconceivable."

She let out another groan, but otherwise sat down and started eating her ice cream. Esme just shook her head and smiled at us.

We ate our ice cream and laughed at our favorite parts. We said lines along with the characters and rewound the scenes we liked the best a couple of times.

It was nice to forget, even just for a little while.

My phone rang at the end of the movie and I was so happy to see Edward's name on the caller I.D. We talked for a few minutes, but he had to prepare for his lecture in the morning so our conversation was cut short.

The next day I got a call from Angela letting me know that my book was in from the printers. I went in to talk with her and Mr. Bryant about where we would go from there, discussing advertising and such.

I was even able to keep a copy.

Rosalie, Alice, and Esme stayed with me that night, just like they had the night before.

And the same the next day. I tried to keep myself busy, distracted so that I wouldn't have time to focus on the pain. It helped a little, especially when Alice insisted that we go on a short shopping trip. I spent a great deal of time trying to talk her out of it.

That third night I insisted that I would be fine and that Esme, Alice, and Rosalie could go home. I'm not really sure if they believed me, but I felt horribly guilty monopolizing all of their time.

Once they left I went up to our bedroom and changed into Edward's Dartmouth shirt. I went to bed early, not really up for anything else.

When I woke up again, it was to kisses along my neck. "I'm home, my love."

* * *

**_I don't know I'm not terribly pleased with this, it was giving me lots of problems. Let me know what you guys think._**

_**Oh and again, thank you to everyone who defended me and helped me with what happened with NOSTP. I greatly appreciate it and I love guys, you all are the absolute greatest.**_


	4. Baring of a Soul

I don't own Twilight. all Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

Chapter Four

Baring of a Soul

I squealed and squirmed under his touch, so excited to have Edward back in my arms. I pressed kisses every where I could reach.

He chuckled beside me, holding my face in his hands. "I missed you, too."

"Welcome home." I whispered before pressing my lips softly to his, reveling in his touch and incredible scent. I had missed them both so much.

"Thank you." He said against my lips.

I snuggled against his chest after we parted, breathing him in and feeling the ache that had settled in my body at his absence leave. Sighing in contentment I placed a kiss just under his jaw.

"Maybe I should go away more often if you greet me this way when I return." He teased, holding me close.

Stopping what I was doing, I lifted my head up and narrowed my eyes at him, eliciting a laugh from him in return. Once I was satisfied that it was only a joke I pressed my lips to his once more and moved to sit up.

Edward pulled me back down, keeping his arms securely around me. "Where do you think you're going, Bella?" He smiled.

I could feel the familiar blush on my cheeks spreading and I tried to hide my face against his shoulder.

"Tell me, what did you do while I was gone?" He asked me, the curiosity evident in his voice.

Biting my lip, I thought over my answer. "I mostly tried to keep myself busy. The first day I cleaned the apartment and talked to Charlie. I visited Jacob, went into the office and got food. Esme, Alice, and Rosalie came over to. They kept me company most of the time, trying to make it easier on me."

A pained expression crossed his features.

"I didn't really sleep very well, but I tried my best. All I could do was miss you." I admitted shyly.

He nodded. "It was the same for me as well. I barely slept at all last night, but it was worth it, just so I could have you in my arms right now." He kissed my temple.

"Oh." I grinned. "My book came in from the printers. I have a copy of it."

During my talks with Angela, before we finished the editing and everything, I decided to dedicate the book to Edward. He had done so much for me and I thought that this would be a perfect way to thank him.

He released me so I could climb off of the bed to go and get it, and then wrapped one arm around me when I came back. He looked over the cover and opened the book, finding the dedication. No hint betrayed his reaction to the small paragraph I had written for him, making me even more nervous for his inevitable reaction.

Finally he looked up, lifting his eyes to meet mine. "Bella, love, I am so proud of you." He pressed his lips to my temple, allowing them to linger against my skin for a brief moment. "Thank you."

I blushed, tucking my hair behind my ear. "I meant every word."

We sat in silence for awhile, enjoying each other's nearness. Soon I heard his breathing even out and I looked over to see his eyes closed. I loved watching Edward sleep, he always looked so peaceful. I curled myself into his side and rested my head in the crook of his arm.

He slept almost the entire afternoon away, exhausted from traveling all night.

"Time to wake up, Edward." I whispered into his ear when I noticed that it was getting close to the time for our therapy session.

A small moan of assent escaped his lips, but otherwise he didn't move.

"Come on, Edward. I promise you that we will sleep in tomorrow." I gently shook his chest, trying to wake him up. "Please."

He smiled; his eyes still closed, and stretched his back. "What time is it?"

"It is almost 2:30. I'll meet you downstairs." I patted his chest and got up from the bed, smiling at him before I left the room.

No more than ten minutes later Edward came walking down the stairs in a fresh shirt and pair of jeans. He had run his hands through his hair in an attempt to tame it and had shaved.

Before we left I teased Edward about him being too sleepy to drive. He just growled at me and refused to hand over his keys, causing me to laugh.

Jasper was in his office when we got there and he took some time to look over his notes before starting the session.

Edward absentmindedly played with a lock of my hair as we waited.

Then Jasper looked up from his notebook. "So, this week was a challenge for the two of you. Edward had to go out of town for a few days and Bella stayed home. Why don't you tell me how that felt?"

I looked down from his eyes. "It was really difficult. The night he told me he was leaving… I know I acted irrationally. We hadn't spent a night apart from each other since James and that terrified me."

"How did you handle the separation while he was gone?" Jasper asked.

Chewing my lip, I looked over to Edward and smiled as he continued to play with a lock of my hair. "I tried to remain busy, to keep occupied so I wasn't focusing on it."

Jasper nodded. "Edward?"

"Knowing that I had to leave her was difficult. It took everything I had to pack my bag and even to say goodbye to her." His voice sounded distant. "I did what I had to while I was there, but on the inside my heart was yearning to know that Bella was safe."

"You both went about your days, even though it was difficult to be apart?" Jasper asked in clarification.

We looked at each other and then both nodded.

A big smile spread across Jasper's face. "That is amazing. You both are finally finding the balance I was talking to you about in the beginning. It will still take some time, but you finding how to function without each other."

I hadn't really thought of it that way, but I guess Jasper was right. Even though it seemed impossible, we were both able to function and do what we had to. It was a small step, but an important one none the less.

"Okay, Bella, this next part is going to be tough." Jasper warned me. "Please remember that I am not doing this to hurt or embarrass you. I want to help you work through your fears so that you can move on. Neither Edward nor I are going to judge anything that you say."

I nodded my head.

"The only sexual experiences that you have had were forced on you. They were meant to hurt and degrade you, to cause you pain, but now we want to change that." Jasper said in a calming voice, the atmosphere in the room soothing. "Why don't you talk some about what you've been feeling?"

"Mostly I feel vulnerable and afraid. I want to be like any other normal couple. I want to not be afraid of getting married because of the wedding night." I admitted to them.

Jasper's wrote a few things on his note pad. "What happened to you was not your fault."

"Everyone keeps saying that. But, it happened to me twice. What does that say about me?" I heard a whimper escape my lips.

"It says that you had some bad luck, love." Edward said gently. "Yes it was horrible and I wish with everything within me that you didn't have to go through that, but you didn't ask for that to happen to you."

I wiped my cheeks of the traitor tears that had begun falling. "How can I give my body to you, Edward, when it's something that I've come to fear?"

"You give me the opportunity to prove to you that it is not something for you to be afraid of." He held my face in his hands. "Give me the chance to love you, Bella. All of you." He pleaded with me.

We turned to Jasper and he took over from there. I held onto Edward's hand tightly, afraid to not have that contact with him, as we listened to Jasper.

He gave us a few pointers to help make things easier, reminding us to take things slow and that we didn't need to push ourselves.

After we left I kept pretty quiet, turning what we had talked about over and over in my head. I needed to process everything.

Our weekly dinner was going to be at our place this week so I focused on getting things set up so that I wouldn't think about what we had discussed anymore.

Edward thankfully didn't push me to talk about it. He let me process everything and quietly helped me get ready for everyone to come over.

I enjoyed having everyone over and tried to keep up with what they were discussing, but my mind kept wandering. Alice brought me back to the present when she suggested we go shopping tomorrow. I told her I would think about it.

Rosalie thankfully changed the subject over to Carlisle and Esme's anniversary party. That got everyone's attention and they all offered suggestions of the plans.

Edward again helped me clean up after everyone left and then we went upstairs for bed, surprising me further still by not insisting that we talk. When we got into the bed he just pulled me close and kissed me on the forehead.

My dreams were filled with Edward, allowing me to have a restful night's sleep.

When the morning came I woke up to see Edward's beautiful emerald eyes watching me. He looked anxious. "Is something wrong?" I asked him.

"No." He shook his head. "You said a few things in your sleep before you woke up." He brought his hand up to my face, stroking my cheek gently with his forefinger.

I groaned internally. "What did I say?"

"You mostly said my name, but at one point you were nervous about us getting married." He explained.

"Oh." I didn't know how to respond to that.

"Bella, if you're not comfortable with this then we don't have to do it. I won't force you to do anything that you're not ready to do." His eyes were sad even though his face gave nothing away.

I hated knowing that I was hurting him. My actions and fears were hurting him, even though he did his best to hide it from me I could see it when he would let his guard down. "It's not that, Edward. It's just… this isn't easy for me." I looked down, embarrassed.

"Love, please look at me." Edward said softly. He took my face in both of his hands and waited until I was looking into his eyes. "I understand. But, sweetheart, this is still me. I haven't changed and I won't hurt you."

My heart gave an elaborate thump at his words. Deep down, I knew that Edward would never hurt me and that alleviated part of my fear. "I know." I said my voice small.

Edward sat up against the headboard and motioned for me to sit up as well. "I have three days to make up telling you what I love about you. So, how about I do that and we can go from there okay?"

I bit my lip, considering his words for a second and then nodded.

He smiled my favorite smile and turned serious. "I love your big beautiful eyes. They truly are the windows to your soul, lulling me in and allowing me to really see you." He lightly kissed my eyelids.

"Your hips. Even with your slim figure you have these perfect curves that only make you even more attractive." He whispered. "And when you get irritated with me and storm off, that little sashay you do is just… sexy.

"That blush you let come out every few seconds." He shook his head. "You have no idea how beautiful you look when that color lights up your features. It makes you even more difficult to resist.

"And last but not least I love how amazing you look in my Dartmouth shirt. It's nothing sexual but," he brought his hand back to my face and stroked my cheek with his thumb, "I just love how adorable you are wearing my clothes. I can't explain it." He sighed.

Throughout his entire speech I found it incredibly difficult to think. My breathing hitched and I had completely melted. I had absolutely no idea that he had paid such close attention to me.

"Edward," I couldn't stop the blush that slid up my cheeks.

He chuckled, obviously amused by my reaction.

I bit my lip. "Edward, I want to us to be like we were. I miss when you use to take my hand in yours and an electric tingle would spark between us. I don't like being afraid."

"Love," Edward pulled me into his lap. "This is going to take time. You can't expect to be over everything in a day, but we if take this one day at a time I think we'll get there. You are already making such great progress."

"What if I can't get there? What if in the end I am too afraid?" That possibility frightened me, but I knew that it could happen.

Edward pressed his forehead to mine, his breath fanning over my face and allowing me to breathe him in. "Bella, I would wait forever for you." He let out a sigh.

"Can we try something?" I managed to get out. My stomach was filled with butterflies and I was shaking.

He nodded his assent.

I took a moment to calm myself and then brought my hands to the hem of his shirt, tugging it up slightly. I was grateful when he sat up to help me pull it off. After I tossed it to the side I turned my attention to him, keeping my eyes firmly on his.

Neither of us moved an inch. His arms remained around me and our eyes continued to stay locked on each others.

Finally I let my eyes move down his face. I settled on his lips for a moment and then continued my decent, taking him in. When my eyes reached his chest, my breathing hitched in my throat.

He was perfect. His shoulders and chest were muscular and strong, accentuating what I always knew was there.

Running my hands over the perfect planes of his chest and stomach I marveled over how beautiful he was. The familiar electric tingle from the contact of our skin resurfaced. A small shudder ran through his body.

I knew how amazing he was on the inside, that's what made me fall in love with him, but now I was seeing him in a whole new way.

"Does this bother you?" I asked him softly when I noticed that his breathing had stopped.

He shook his head, closing his eyes. "No. You can't imagine how it feels."

I blushed more, bringing my hands down along his arms, tracing the definition in his biceps. They were so strong. The same arms that made me feel safe when nothing else could.

When I finished my exploration I brought my hands back to his chest and rested them there. Shyly, I leaned forward and gently pressed my lips to his softly. "Thank you." I whispered.

"For what, love?" He asked me.

I smiled. "For letting me do that. For not trying to force anything else. For loving me."

"You are most welcome, Bella. It has been a pleasure not only to love you, but to receive your love as well." He pressed his lips to my forehead.

A small shiver of pleasure ran through me.

"Cold?" Edward smirked.

I shook my head. "I'm not cold."

"Do you remember what Jasper said yesterday?" He said after a while. "About looking in the mirror?" He knotted his fingers through my hair, waiting until I acknowledged his question. "I know that it's scary, love. You have opened yourself up to me so much and I am so proud of you. Please don't close yourself off now."

"Okay." I assured him. "I promise to try."

He kissed the top of my head. "Thank you."

We spent the rest of the morning in bed, Edward holding me and rocking me every once in a while. After we finally got dressed and were eating breakfast Alice called.

"What do you think about going shopping today? We could take my yellow Porsche?" She said excitedly.

I looked over at Edward.

He just smiled at me and kissed the top of my head.

"Do you think we could do it tomorrow Alice? Edward and I sort of wanted to spend the day together today." I could tell that she about to start whining so I stopped that right then. "I promise to let you pick out my outfit for Carlisle and Esme's anniversary party and not complain about how much it costs."

"Really?" She squealed. "Oh you won't regret this, Bella. Thank you, thank you, thank you."

I chuckled. "You're welcome. I'll see you tomorrow, Alice." I ended the call.

Edward seemed greatly amused by the conversation, but didn't make any comments about it. He rinsed out our cereal bowls and turned to me after he put them in the dishwasher. "What do you want to do today, my love?"

"Let's just stay here." I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him. "Do you think that you could play my song for me?"

He smiled my smile. "I think that I can do that." He took my hand in his after I released him and we went to the music room where his piano was.

I sat next to him on the bench and closed my eyes as the room filled with the familiar song he had written for me. My heart beat emphatically as I got lost in the music.

As he got to the last notes and transitioned to Esme's favorite he looked down at me, pure love and adoration evident in his beautiful eyes. "We'll get there. Just keep opening up to me little by little and we will get there."

* * *

**_Okay, I hope everyone like it. For those of you who asked, the movie that Alice and Bella wanted to watch was their all time favorite The Princess Bride. Now on to some business._**

**_Tomorrow, hopefully around midnight or Saturday during the day, I am going to announce a little contest that I've decided to hold. My birthday is going to be next month so I thought that it was be fun to hold a birthday contest. All of the rules and regulations will be up on my profile either tomorrow or Saturday like I said earlier so don't forget to check it out. I'll post a note letting everyone know when it's up._**

**_Also, I have a thread for this story and For the Love of a King over on Twilighted. Please feel free to go check it out and discuss your ideas about where the story is headed._**

**_I am working on the continuation of my one-shot in manyafandom's Valentine's Day contest "A Perfect Evening" and the next chapter for "Always Meant to Be". I promise that I plan to continue writing With arms open Wide and I know that I said it would be the next story that I would work on, but it's just not going where I want it to. So, I am going to take some time and start it over and repost it when I get it right. Thank you so much for your patience.  
_**

**_Thank you guys so much for reading this and sticking with me. I love you all.  
_**


	5. Mistakes lead to Misunderstandings

I don't own Twilight. all Stephenie Meyer.

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Chapter Five

Mistakes lead to Misunderstandings

Most of the time I didn't mind going shopping, especially when I needed new shoes or something, it could be kind of fun. But, when Alice insisted on buying me a new outfit I didn't like it nearly as much. She'd insist on buying these outrageously expensive clothes that I had no use for.

So when I was in a dressing room, trying on a ridiculous dress that Alice insisted was perfect, I refused to come out.

"Isabella Marie Swan, if you don't come out here right this minute I will come in there after you." Alice warned from the other side of my dressing room.

Glancing in the mirror again, I shook my head. "Absolutely not. Besides, you wouldn't dare."

"This can be either the easy way or the hard way." Alice chimed.

"Do you honestly doubt her?" Rosalie laughed.

I took one last look at my reflection and groaned. "Fine. You evil little pixie." I unhooked the latch and stepped out so that they could see me, my head hanging down in embarrassment.

Neither of my friends said a word at first and then they erupted into squeals. "It's perfect, Bella." Alice bounced up and down and clapped her hands together in excitement. "What do you think?"

"Well, it is very pretty, Ali." I said softly. And it was. It was a halter style, silk dress that thankfully kept me covered. It was emerald and gold, just like Edward's eyes, and stopped just above my knees, flaring out a little. Just underneath the bodice was the hint of gold in the form of a sash that was silk and lace.

Another round of squeals filled the air. "It's settled then. That's the one we're getting." Alice motioned for me to go change, dismissing me.

Internally groaning, I went back into the changing room and got out of the dress and back into my comfortable jeans and t-shirt.

Rose and I waited outside of the store while Alice went up to the cash register and paid for her purchases. "So, things seem to be going well between you and Edward." She commented. "I've noticed a familiar grin on both your faces lately."

Blushing, I tried to hide my face behind a blanket of my hair, but Rose wouldn't have that. I finally sighed and nodded. "We're getting more comfortable with each other, opening up a lot more."

"Does this 'getting more comfortable' include the two of you finally working out your frustrations?" She kept her voice somewhat low so that no one else could eaves drop on our conversation.

I went from slightly pink cheeks to cherry tomato red in two seconds. "Absolutely not, Rose. He knows that I'm not ready for anything like that. I don't if I ever will be, but he's being very patient and trying to help me as best as he can."

She considered what I had said for a minute, moving us in front of a display window. "Do you remember when I told you that I had been raped when I was eighteen?" She kept her eyes on the display.

"Yes." I nodded my head.

"The guy was a man that my parents had set me up with. They wanted me to marry well and they thought he would be the perfect choice. I thought so too, at first." In that moment I had never seen her look so vulnerable, it was disconcerting. "I never would have imagined that a man that supposedly loved me and wanted to marry me would violate me in such a brutal fashion.

"After it happened I closed myself off, wouldn't let any men come near me. When I was ready I tried to date, but it was never right." A small smile crossed her lips, turning her gaze to me. "That's when Emmett found me. He healed me, helped me let go of my fears and loved me the way that I needed."

Of course Emmett would still want her after everything. She had been violated and hurt by someone that she thought she could trust, but her body hadn't been damaged the way that mine had. She hadn't been marked and scarred, she was beautiful and modelesque.

She was still beautiful.

"Bella, I know better than anyone what you're feeling right now. I bet you haven't looked at yourself in the mirror since." She asked softly.

I couldn't speak, quietly nodding my head. How did she know that?

Pulling me into her arms, she hugged me tightly. "Bella, I wish you could see the way that Edward is around you. I mean, you could dress up in 80s rock clothes and he would still look at you a like you are the most beautiful creature in existence."

"She's right, Bella." Alice came up behind us, bags in hand. "I have never seen Edward as happy as he has been with you."

Rose smiled at me. "Just think about what I've said, okay?"

I nodded my head, slowly. "I will, Rose."

"Next up, shoes." Alice squealed.

Knowing that I wouldn't be able to avoid this, I walked in-step with Alice as she linked her arm through mine. She led me across the street to a pricey looking shop and started looking through their merchandise.

When she and Rose began discussing what heel type would be perfect with the dress, I turned toward the window of the store and looked out. The weather had been heating up lately, although heating up in Forks meant that it was sixty degrees instead of thirty.

Mid week we were actually supposed to have some sunlight for a change. I pulled my cell phone out and dialed Jacob's number.

"Hey, Bells. What's up?" He asked cheerily, having picked up on the second ring.

Glancing behind me to see exactly what stage of shopping Alice was in, I turned back to the window and smiled to myself. "Are you busy Wednesday, Jake?"

"Not really. I have to wait for some parts that I ordered before I can do anymore work right now." Something banged against the floor in the background. "What are you thinking?"

Chewing on my bottom lip for a moment, I tried to decide exactly what it was I wanted to do. I needed to forget things for awhile, to be immature and reckless for a few hours. "It's supposed to be sunny then, maybe we could take out our motorcycles and go for a ride. There are some back roads we can find, really open up."

The smile across Jake's lips was evident as he spoke. "That sounds great. I've been in the need for some speed. I'll call you then, okay."

"Sure. Bye, Jake." I ended the call, surprised to see Alice and Rosalie coming over to me with a recently purchased pair of shoes in hand. "I take it you found something." I put my phone in my pocket.

Alice was bouncing, unable to control her excitement. "They match perfectly. I'm so glad that we were able to find them."

"Let's get some lunch. I'm starving." Rose grinned.

We found a small café a few blocks away. I loved the girl time that I got to have with them. They were helping me in a way that Edward couldn't, showing me how to deal with my everyday life, the times that I was on my own.

I needed that balance.

"Okay, I was thinking we could go shopping for jewelry, nail polish, anything else that will finish off the look we're going for." Alice explained as we finished eating.

My thoughts had been drifting to what Rose and I had been talking about earlier and I couldn't seem to let it go. It was already mid afternoon, if I didn't do something now she would keep us out the rest of the day.

"Do you mind if we forgo the accessories today, Ali? I just… I'm not really feeling up to anymore shopping." I hated being a downer, but at the moment I just wanted to go home and forget everything else.

Alice looked at me for a moment and then nodded. "I suppose. I can look for them on my own anyways. Just don't make any plans this week because I will be coming over to make sure that what I get matches everything." She warned me.

I had no doubt that she would make good on her small threat. Rose's words were still rolling around in my thoughts when we got to my apartment building. I was confused at first because I didn't even remember getting in the car.

They offered to come up with me, but I told them that it wasn't necessary, trying my best to smile convincingly. Even though I could tell neither of them believed me, they smiled and Alice got my dress from the trunk of her car.

With a promise that I would hang it up in my closet immediately, I kissed their cheeks and told them I would call them the next day.

Edward was having lunch with his brother's and Carlisle, so I would have the apartment to myself for at least a little while. That comforted me because I needed to be alone to do what I had planned.

Once I was safely in the apartment I rushed as carefully as I could up to our room and locked the door. I hung my new dress in the closet and stood there for a moment, breathing slowly and deliberately.

How could I do this? It was too much. What was I thinking?

No, I had to. If I ever wanted to get better, to be able to have a normal relationship with Edward, I had to do this.

I let out another deep breath and then began undressing myself, one article of clothing at a time. I was trembling by the time I got down to my bra and panties, but I continued until I was completely undressed.

Stepping out of the closet I made my way through our room until I reached the bathroom. I closed my eyes when I opened the door and then stepped into the room, shutting the door behind me. My eyes remained closed as I continued to gather my courage, taking slow deep breaths.

Finally I opened my eyes and glanced at my bare form in the mirror.

My entire body shook as I took in my reflection. The woman staring back at me wasn't the same person I had seen over the years. Bright eyes, pale skin with a hint of a rosy undertone, a body that showed the signs of damage, but was on the mend stared back at me.

The hideousness I had feared seemed ridiculous as I continued to take in the reflection. I did have scars and bite marks, but it wasn't as terrible as I had been thinking.

I ran my fingers over the scars, feeling the raised flesh that was meant to be a reminder. What once was flawless, no longer was. I definitely wasn't ready to let anyone see me like this, but taking this step was definitely a very big step.

And with that I stepped out of the bathroom and went back to our closet to get dressed. Just as I was slipping on some sweat pants I heard Edward calling my name. "I'm upstairs." I called to him. "Just a minute." I quickly slipped on a shirt and unlocked the door for him.

"Hey," I breathed out when he came into the room.

With my favorite crooked smile gracing his features, Edward took my hand in his, twining our fingers together, and then pressed his lips to my hair. "How was your day?"

"Long." I sighed, resting my cheek against his.

"For me as well." He pressed a kiss to my temple and then pulled back a little so he could look at me. "Let's go downstairs."

I followed behind him, gently squeezing his hand as we went. The feeling of wholeness I got whenever he touched me after we had been separated for just a few hours never ceased to amaze me.

Edward ran his free hand through his beautiful bronze locks as we neared the bottom of the stairs, making it even messier than it was before. "Would you like to watch a movie? Or I could read to you for a bit?" He asked when we entered the living room.

"Do you mind if we just sit and talk for a bit?" I asked him.

He smiled again and shook his head. "That sounds just right."

Before sitting down we grabbed a fluffy blanket and wrapped around each other, cuddling close. I got lost in the emerald depths of Edward's eyes, unaware that I had stopped breathing.

That's when his lips curved into a smirk and he chuckled. "Breathe, Bella."

I blushed and buried my face in the crook of his shoulder.

"What would you like to talk about, love?" His velvety voice still held a hint of amusement.

My plan was to tell him about my plans with Jacob on Wednesday, that we were going to take our motorcycles out and probably just ride for a couple of hours. Also, I wanted to share with him the baby step that I had taken today.

Keeping my face hidden in the crook of his neck, I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I called Jacob earlier. The weather is supposed to be good midweek, so I suggested that we get together and ride our motorcycles."

He didn't say anything at first, his muscles tense and unmoving, and then he ran his hand gently along my back. "Okay, just promise me that you will be careful."

I nodded my head in acquiescence. "I promise. Thank you for being so understanding about this, Edward."

Some more silence. "Is that all, love?" He asked softly.

I lifted my head so that I could meet his eyes and then shook it. "Rose and talked a little while we were shopping. She told me about what had happened to her."

Realization crossed his beautiful features. "Oh?"

"A lot of what she said, I'm still trying to process it, but she reiterated some of what you and Jasper said at our session." I played with the fabric on the sleeve of his t-shirt absentmindedly. "I want to be free of what happened to me, I want us to have a normal healthy relationship."

He pressed his lips to my forehead as I spoke. "And we will get there, Bella. I know that this hasn't been easy for you, I can't even imagine what you've been feeling, but I am so proud of the progress that you have made." He grinned.

"Thank you." I bit my bottom lip for a second before continuing. "Alice probably would have kept me out much longer, but I put a stop to it because there were some things I needed to think about.

"I… I want you to know that I am trying, Edward. More than anything I want to be a good wife for you, to give you what you need and desire." I admitted shyly, my eyes still focused on the sleeve of his shirt.

Edward tucked his finger under my chin and lifted it slightly so that we were looking straight at each other. "Bella, all that I need is you. I can wait as long as you need." He said with conviction.

I bit back a sob, realizing that his words were exactly what I needed to hear. He had told me those things before, but I hadn't been ready to hear them until now. "I love you, Edward."

"Bella, you have no idea how much I love you." He pulled me in for a sweet kiss, so soft and tender, expressing what we couldn't say in words. Alternating between kissing my top lip and then my bottom lip, he showed me how much he loved me.

When we needed to breathe, he pressed his lips to my cheeks, my temple, and then my forehead.

Neither of us spoke for a long time after that, not wanting to ruin such a perfect moment. We remained curled up in each other's arms, staring into each other's eyes and kissing occasionally.

Spending time together like this was something we had been lacking, and it felt good to just be together. To hold one another and forget about everything else for a little while.

Later on that night we made dinner and watched a movie before going to bed. I put in one of my favorite musicals, The Producers, to keep things light.

In the morning I went to the publishing company to meet with Angela and Mr. Bryant. We mainly discussed distribution options of the book and ways to help market it. Videos and signed copies of my novel were just a few of the things we came up with.

Alice showed up Tuesday morning, bouncing on my bed after Edward had left for the hospital. She apparently had found the best accessories to go with my dress and needed me awake and showered to make sure.

Grumbling was all I was able to manage as I flung myself from the bed, landing flat on my back on the floor.

Once I was showered and dressed and had eaten a light breakfast we got my dress for the anniversary party out of the closet and laid it out on the bed. Alice pulled out the jewelry she had gotten; I did my best not to complain since I knew it wouldn't do any good, a beautiful clutch purse and just the right shade of nail polish.

Everything matched perfectly. Surprise, surprise.

I warned Alice that I wouldn't forgive her for a very long time for waking me up so annoyingly early, even thought I knew that threat would be an impossible feat.

She looked up at me with her big puppy dog eyes and stuck out her bottom lip in the famous Cullen pout and there was no way I could stay mad at her. I never could.

When Wednesday finally came around I couldn't have been more thrilled. I woke up in bed to find a brand new helmet and riding jacket placed on Edward's side of the bed. A note was pinned to the jacket, underneath the helmet.

_Bella,_

_ Even though I am not comfortable with you riding a motorcycle, I know that it is important to you. I took the liberty of buying you this gear to help protect your beautiful body just in case. Have fun with Jacob and please be safe._

_Love,_

_Edward_

Even though I wanted to be angry with him for spending money on me, I couldn't fault his reasoning. He was looking out for me and I appreciated that.

I put the note down on my nightstand and got up to start my day. Once I was freshly showered and dressed I grabbed the helmet and jacket, leaving them by the elevator, and went down to the kitchen and ate a bowl of cereal.

Jacob was picking me up and he would be arriving soon, so when I finished eating I cleaned out my bowl put it in the dishwasher. I made my way to the elevator and pressed the button, picking up the helmet and jacket along with my wallet and keys as I waited for the elevator car to come.

When I finally got downstairs I found Jacob leaning against the drivers' side of his car, waiting for me with his typical smile in place. "You didn't have to dress all sexy for me, Bells. I mean I appreciate the gesture and all, but it's not necessary."

I hit his shoulder hard, glaring at him. "Quit being a jerk, Jake. It's barely been a minute and you're already pissing me off."

He chuckled at my reaction. "Aw, come on, Bells. You know I'm just messing with you." Before I could pull away he pulled me in for a tight hug, knocking the breath out of me and squeezing even tighter.

"Let go of me you over grown lug." I shoved against him, trying to get him to release me. My feet dangled off the floor as I tried to wriggle free, realizing that my things were discarded on the ground.

"Not until you say you aren't mad at me." He warned, squeezing a little tighter.

I groaned and sighed. "Fine. I'm not mad at you."

"That's right." He kissed the top of my head before sitting me down.

"You are a big, irritating, hairy monster sometimes, you know that Jake?" I growled as I leaned down to pick up my stuff.

"But you love me anyways." He winked at me, grinning smugly.

Despite how much I wanted to be angry with him, I couldn't. I grinned at him in response and let out a sigh. "Okay, can we go now?"

Jake nodded and helped me into his car, and then circled around and climbed into the driver's side. "The bikes are in my garage. I figured we could take them out from there," he said as he took off down the street.

"Sounds good." I assured him.

My excitement seemed to be contagious because I noticed Jacob's mood brightening even more so as we talked. I hadn't felt this excited about going out in a long time.

When we finally got to his place, I began walking to the garage. But, apparently my careful pace wasn't fast enough for him because he came up behind me and scooped me up, tossing me over his shoulder.

"Jacob Black!" I screamed and laughed at him.

He set me back on my feet and placed my things on the ground while he went to bring our bikes out.

I put the black leather riding jacket on and zipped it up, watching as Jake came out with my motorcycle. I walked over to it and climbed on.

A snicker came from Jacob's direction and I glared at him. He ignored me and started the engine on his motorcycle. He revved the engine just to annoy me as I tried to get mine started. "Come on, Bella, I don't have all day here."

When I finally got it started I glared at him again and revved my engine.

His smile got wider and he nodded.

I put my helmet on and we took off. The immense feeling of freedom was incredible. The wind blowing all around us, the pure speed, all of my worries just disappeared.

Jacob took the lead, taking us down a pretty stretch of road where we most likely wouldn't have to worry about other driver's getting in the way.

Eventually we took a break, sitting in an opened field and letting the rare sunlight warm our bodies.

I let out a sigh of contentment as we lay in the grass, the day had been great.

Clouds eventually took the place of the beautiful sun and we had to head back otherwise we would have gotten soaked. So we road back to his place and ate something before he drove me home.

"Bella, can I ask you a question?" He looked over at me as he pulled up to a red light. When I nodded my assent he continued. "Are you happy? With Edward?"

My jaw dropped. I couldn't believe he would ask me that. "Of course I am, Jake."

He put his foot on the gas when the light turned green. "Okay."

I waited for him to continue, but when he didn't I spoke up. "Where did that come from, Jake?"

He was quiet for a minute, and then he shrugged his shoulder. "I just… I've noticed how you are with Edward and how you are with me. You have never looked as happy as you were today when I've seen you with him."

"You have no idea what you're talking about. I love Edward and I don't need to defend my relationship to you." I crossed my arms in front of me defiantly and stared out the passenger window.

When Jacob pulled up to my apartment building I jumped out of his car quickly, making a dash for the building so I could get out of the rain. He caught up to me and tugged on my arm before I could get inside.

"Please don't be mad at me, Bells. All I want is for you to be happy." He blinked his eyes as the rain came down harder.

I sighed. "I know, Jake." I tried to smile at him.

"And I know that you said that you are with him, but I think you could be just as happy with me." He tried to lean in to kiss me.

"You have been so great to me since we came back into each other's lives. I have missed you so much and I am so sorry that we lost touch, but I don't love you that way." My heart broke as I saw the pain in his eyes.

He let go of me, but didn't say a word.

I bit my bottom lip, feeling the tears that threatened to fall. "I am so sorry, Jake. Maybe today was a bad idea."

"No, don't say that. I'm just… I'll see you later." He leaned down and hugged me before turning and leaving.

My eyes filled with tears as I watched him leave. That's when I saw Edward. He had been standing in the lobby of the building and watched my interaction with Jacob.

But the look in his eyes was unmistakable. Anger and hurt clouded his eyes and I realized what he must have thought happened. I rushed in after him, surprised that he kept the elevator opened for me.

The car was filled with silence, deafening and filled with tension.

How was it that just a few short hours ago I felt free and happy, on top of the world?

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_Hey, I know it's been forever since I've updated and I am so sorry. Real life has been crazy and I was also had the author auction over at supportstacie[dot]net that kept me pretty busy. The lovely ysar bid on me and won, so I'll be working on her story as well as this one and FTLOK. She has told me that she'd like me to post it when I'm done, so I'll tell you a little bit more about it once I get around to posting it._

_Also, please don't forget about my birthday contest. All of the rules are on my profile. In case anyone didn't understand about how to get the story to me so I can put in the Community for the contest, here it is. Just post the story, and once it is posted copy the link and the send it to me in a PM. I look forward to your stories._

_Thank you guys so much for sticking with me. I hope everyone enjoyed the latest chapter, please review and let me know.  
_


	6. An engagement of Fear

I don't own Twilight. all Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

Chapter Six

An engagement of Fear

I stood next to Edward, my body trembling as I waited for him to speak. But there was nothing. When I turned my head and opened my mouth to speak, I noticed that his jaw was rigid.

"Not now, Bella. Please." His velvety voice, normally so smooth, was cold.

My body flinched at the tone of his voice. I had never heard him speak that way to me before.

The elevator ride to the top floor had never felt so eternal before. I kept imagining one bad thing after another when we got to our apartment, my imagination getting the better of me.

Even though we were standing right next to each other, I had never felt so distant from him before. I wanted to reach out and touch his hand, but I fought it.

What happened? Everything had been so perfect three days ago.

Finally the elevator dinged and the doors opened. Edward waited for me to step off first, walking out just after me.

I walked as far as the living room and then stopped, turning around to face him nervously. "Edward, I swear to you nothing happened. I didn't kiss him. I told him that I love you." My voice cracked as I said the last part.

He didn't say a word, continuing to stare at me.

"Please say something." I begged him.

"What would you like me to say?" He finally asked.

This wasn't my Edward. I bit my bottom lip.

Silence filled the room again. "I believe you, but this isn't about that." Ice.

Oh. If he believed me about not kissing Jacob, then what was he upset about?

Looking into my eyes for a long time, he seemed to be searching for whatever the reason was that had him so tense. "What did he say to you?" He asked me, the steadiness in his voice wavering.

A bell went off in my head, warning me that this could only end badly, but, as always, I told him the truth. "He asked me if I was happy with you."

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "And what did you say?"

"Of course I am. I love you, Edward." I said in frustration, my voice breaking. "I was fighting with him because I couldn't believe that he asked me that."

"Bella, do you remember the talk we had before we started therapy? I told you that it seemed as though you were comfortable around everyone else but me?" He waited for my response, leaning against the back of the couch nearest him.

I nodded my head slowly, fearfully.

"When I saw you just now with Jacob, even though you were arguing, that's exactly how you appeared to me. More comfortable around him than you have been with me." The hurt in his voice was agonizing. "Especially since Alice bought your wedding dress."

My heart sank as I listened to him speak. Wherever this conversation was headed, I didn't like it. "He isn't you, Edward."

"Have I been putting too much pressure on you about the wedding?" His voice was sounding more broken as he continued.

"No, you have been perfect. Please," I stepped in between his legs and wrapped my arms around his neck, "don't do this."

Edward closed his eyes tightly. "We can't keep doing this, Bella."

I bit my bottom lip, holding back a sob, as I tried to remain calm. "What are you saying, Edward?" I asked softly.

He put one hand on my waist and brought the other one under my chin, lifting it so that I was forced to meet his eyes. "I'm saying that I love you and that I want to be yours and you mine. I want you to be my wife." He sighed. "I want you."

"You have me. I am here." I could hear the desperation in my words, trying with all of my might to convince him that nothing was taking me away.

"Do I really?" His normally bright emerald eyes, showed nothing but pain.

I took a step back from Edward's hold. "How can you ask me that? I am wearing your ring Edward. I spend every moment of my days wanting you, needing you, loving you. I am living with you and I have promised to marry you. What more do you need?"

"All of these things," he gestured, indicating the list I had just mentioned, "You have done, Bella. But there's one thing that you haven't. Given me all of you." He pulled me back into his arms, placing one hand right over my rapidly beating heart. "All of you."

Panicking slightly, I tried to make sense of his words. I took slow deliberate breaths. "Edward… I…" Right now I could give him all of me, my body.

Edward seemed to understand what I was thinking without my having to say it. "I know you aren't ready for us to be together in that way, that's not what this is about, Bella." He assured me. "I'm talking about you," he pressed his hand into my chest a little more in emphasis. "Let me in, please."

Wasn't I doing that? I was going to therapy, working on my self image, dealing with my fears, all so that I could not only ne happier and healthier, but also so that I could be what Edward deserves.

"Bella, when we're together, you keep a piece of yourself hidden. That beautiful carefree smile and laugh, that amazing sense of humor," his hand that was resting over my heart now joined his other one on my waist. "It's just… I can feel you slipping away from me, closing yourself off.

"There is not a doubt in my mind that you are it for me, Bella. I love you, every bit of you, and I want to marry you." He pressed his lips to my forehead, lingering against my skin as he inhaled slowly.

I opened my mouth to speak when he pulled back, but he put his finger over my lips to stop me.

"For my sake and for yours, I think you should take some time and think about whether or not you really want this. I know you love me, but is it really enough?" His eyes filled with tears as he spoke, matching mine as I fought back a sob. "Since my parents' anniversary is coming up next week why don't we take this time to think things over? We can talk when it's over."

My head was spinning, hazy. I couldn't speak as his words sank in. Hiccups escaped my lips as I finally tried to speak. "Do you… want me t-to… stay… with Al-Alice and… Ja-Jasper?"

"No." He let go of me and walked out of the room.

Unable to hold it back any longer, I crumpled to the floor sobbing uncontrollably. I held onto my stomach as though I was falling apart, and I tried to find my breath. All I wanted was to be able to breathe normally.

I had broken Edward.

He had been hurting and I was too selfish, wrapped up in my own world, to even notice what he must have been going through. He had been so patient and understanding with me, maybe I took advantage of it.

As my panicked breathing began to slow down, and when the hiccups eventually subsided, I leaned up against the back of the couch. I continued to clutch my stomach, tears still streaming down my face.

What was I going to do? I could barely think straight.

I stayed in that same spot for hours, staring at nothing in particular. Part of me wondered if I was going crazy. Maybe I had a nervous breakdown. I wasn't sure, but I did know that I didn't want to lose Edward.

We had been through too much together.

There had to be something I could do, some way to stop hurting him.

My eyes drifted shut of their own accord as I stayed on the floor. They hurt from all of the crying I had done and would probably be puffy in the morning.

Eventually I felt strong arms scoop me up and I opened my eyes to see Edward carrying me to our room. "You don't have to do this," I groaned.

"Shh." He murmured. "It's all right."

The next thing I became aware of was making contact with the bed and feeling Edward's body close to mine. I knew it was selfish of me, but I snuggled in closer to him, reveling in his warmth.

I think that we both needed that small connection, to feel each other and to believe, that even for a moment, everything was going to be alright.

His face was buried in my hair, breathing me in, while I snuggled as much as I could into the crook of his neck. Neither of us spoke as we held each other, the awful words from earlier leaving their marks.

Breathing in his wonderful scent, I pulled myself a little closer to him in a desperate attempt to keep us together. I knew that I was being as selfish as he had accused me of earlier, but I couldn't find in me to stop or care.

Edward ran his hand gently along my spine, humming my lullaby.

My chest clenched a little at that. How could I possibly deserve such a sweet selfless man? Comforting me when he's hurting this way, too?

I sniffled, not even realizing that tears had started falling down my cheeks again.

Just as I felt unconsciousness about to claim me, Edward pressed his soft lips against my ear. "I love you, Isabella. Never forget that," his breath tickled my skin.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Silence. Neither of us really spoke, to each other or to our friends. We existed in a fog of hurt and confusion.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Alice and I were at her house waiting for Rosalie to arrive. Carlisle and Esme's party was a day away and Alice said she needed my help with last minute preparations.

I was pushing my food around on my plate as we finished up breakfast.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Alice asked gently.

Putting my fork down, I looked up at her and sighed. "What if he doesn't forgive me, Alice? What if we manage to work through this, but he doesn't forgive for the way that I've treated him?"

"Bella," Alice shook her head at me. "He isn't angry at you."

"Of course he is. Not that I really blame him. I've been so selfish." I rubbed my forehead.

She put her hand on my arm and smiled kindly. "Edward isn't doing this because he is angry or because he wants to hurt you, Bella. He's doing this for you."

I looked up at her, confused by she had just said. What did she mean?

"Edward wants you to be happy, Bella. He is willing to forgo what he wants so that you can be." Alice explained.

"How could he possibly think that I would be happy with anyone else?" I shook my head in annoyance.

When it was obvious that I was finished with my food, Alice took both of our plates to the sink and cleaned them. "I'm not saying this as a judgment, but I have noticed how closed off you have become lately. With me, with Edward. It's like you're angry with us for mentioning the wedding."

I winced, realizing that she was right. "I just don't know if I'm ready for that step."

"Sometimes you have to leap, Bella. You can't spend the rest of your life in fear of what might happen." Alice dried her hands on a dishtowel as she finished up. "What if you are ready?"

Maybe she was right. I had been hoping for a way to prove to Edward that it was enough, that I really wanted to marry him. By setting the date, by letting him know that I really was ready to become his and to give myself to him that could be enough.

I chewed on my lip as I thought over everything.

The door bell rang, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Are you okay?" Alice asked me.

I smiled at her and nodded.

She left the room to answer the door and a few seconds later entered the room with Rosalie behind her.

"Hey, Bella." Rosalie came over to me and kissed me on the cheek.

I nodded to her. "Can I ask a favor of you both?"

They glanced at each other for a moment and then turned back to me. "Sure, Bella. Anything."

I thought about what I wanted to do and then smiled. "I'm going to talk to Edward tonight and hopefully we'll get some things worked out. When we get the date set, will you both help me plan the wedding?"

Alice squealed, jumping up and down in excitement. "Really? Oh goodness. That's so great."

"Calm down, little pixie." I chuckled. "Nothing is set in stone, but I just wanted to make sure that you would still be willing to."

Rose grinned. "Of course we would, Bella."

I felt a weight lift off of me at her agreement. Now all I had to do was fix things with Edward.

Once I thanked them, we were on our way to the hall where the party was being held. Everyone in town was going to be there, it was going to be a beautiful celebration.

We spent most of the afternoon making the directions for the tables and setting out the center pieces. We checked to make sure that everything was set up for the evening before leaving. Alice didn't trust anyone else to do it right.

Carlisle and Esme were driving in from Forks and were probably at our apartment with Edward, getting ready. My things were in Alice's care because she had insisted a long time ago to help me get ready.

I barely paid attention to the rest of the afternoon. My thoughts kept drifting to Edward and everything that I wanted to say to him. There was a distance between us that needed to be rectified.

"They're all downstairs." Rose squealed

Automatically, my head shot up. Edward was here.

"Let's go." Alice grinned, taking my hand.

I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly as I followed them out of the room and down the stairs. When we reached the stairs my eyes began a search for Edward and when I spotted him my heart stopped.

He looked incredible in his tuxedo, his hair in perfect disarray. When his eyes locked with mine, the rest of the world melted away. As we took the last step, Edward's lips formed in my favorite crooked smile.

Even though it wouldn't be easy, I knew in that moment that we were going to be alright, that we would find a way.

"You are beautiful, Bella." He whispered after reaching my side.

I blushed, ducking my head. "Thank you, Edward. You look incredibly handsome as well."

He ran a hand through his hair nervously, his beautiful eyes unable to hide the pain he had been in.

We'll get past this soon. We'll be alright.

More than anything I wanted to take him into my arms and comfort him, but I forced myself to stay where I was. I didn't want to push him or upset him.

"Bella, it's lovely to see you." Esme hugged me, breaking us out of our reverie.

"I've missed you, Esme." I admitted.

She kissed my cheek. "So have I, dear." She smiled.

Carlisle greeted me next, kissing me on the forehead. I watched as he wrapped his arm around his wife as we talked, holding her close to him. They were still so much in love, even after thirty years.

If I ever wanted a marriage to aspire to, it was there's. Esme had told me their story, about how Carlisle had been so patient with her and showed her how much he truly loved her. They were meant for each other.

Edward lightly touched his hand to the small of my back, signaling that it was time for us to head out. He kept close to me, but still had a slight distance away.

The drive to the hall was silent for the most part. Carlisle and Esme were in the back seat. Edward seemed tense as he drove, his knuckles turning even whiter on the steering wheel.

At one point I took his right hand in mine and held it on my lap.

He looked over at me and smiled sadly.

I felt my eyes tear up and discreetly wiped them away so that my makeup wouldn't run.

When we arrived at our destination, Emmett's loud booming voice was the first thing that I heard. He was complaining about being starving.

The party was an absolute success. It was so touching to see how many showed up to help Carlisle and Esme celebrate this amazing moment in their lives.

I ate a little, but couldn't muster up much of an appetite.

Finally, I decided that it was time to talk to Edward. He was talking with Emmett and Rose when I found him.

"Can we talk please?" I slipped my hand into his; trying to keep my voice just low so that only he could hear me.

He nodded his head. "Excuse us please."

Emmett chuckled. "I don't want to find the two of you in a bathroom stall alright."

I blushed as usual and Edward growled at him. "Shut up Emmett." He said menacingly, before leading me off.

Just beyond a couple of doors near the stage there was a small garden. Perfect lighting, flowers, even a gravel pathway.

There was a stone railing in the middle of the garden that we ended up making our way to. Edward, all the while, watching me and waiting for me to speak.

Searching for the right words, I leaned back against the railing. My body shook with nervousness.

"Bella, I'm losing my mind over here. Please." Edward finally asked me, pleaded.

I lifted my gaze to his, gasping slightly. I had missed his beautiful emerald eyes and the perfection of his face, the combination of both always able to make me forget everything else.

Letting out a deep breath I found the words that I wanted to say. "I am so sorry, Edward. I'm sorry I have been closing myself off to you and making you feel as though I don't want to be your wife." I reached over for his hand, taking it in mine. "That couldn't be farther from the truth.

"When we're apart, I yearn and ache for you until we can be together again. And when we are I want nothing more to see you smile, to know that you are happy." I kissed the back of his hand before continuing.

"Edward, I never meant to push you away. I have just been so frightened of what could happen when we marry. I didn't want you to be disappointed in me. And I guess part of me was afraid that you would realize you could do so much better." I saw his mouth part, ready to interrupt me, so I lifted my free hand to his lips to stop him.

A small smile spread across my lips. "I was afraid, but I'm not anymore. This week has been so tortuous, this space between us. I am ready to yours, Edward Cullen. To be your wife, you lover, your best friend. I want to give all of me to you. If you still want to marry me that is?"

He stared at me in shock, his eyes wide as I waited for his answer.

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_I know I normally would have updated FTLOK next, but I couldn't get this story out of my head. So you guys get another chapter. I hope you enjoyed._

_Please don't forget about my birthday contest that I'm holding. The deadline is coming up. All of the details are on my profile. Oh, and there's a thread for this story over on twilighted [dot] net. Stop by and join us. Post your theories and check for teasers.  
_


	7. Starting fresh with the Perfect Date

I don't own Twilight. all Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

Chapter Seven

Starting fresh with the Perfect date

Edward stared into my eyes and I saw a flicker of hope that hadn't been there all week. He took my face in his hands, gently, holding me carefully. "Is this really what you want, love? I don't want to force you into anything."

I rested my hands on his chest, taking the time to make sure my breathing was under control. "Edward, I have never been surer of anything in my life. This entire time I have been hiding, afraid of letting you get close to me again, but I'm not anymore.

"You have been so patient and understanding, more than I deserve. I needed this push to realize what it is that I want." My cheeks heated up. "I want you."

A tear rolled down his cheek, unable to hide what he had been feeling any longer. "I love you so much. Isabella Marie Swan." He pulled me in just a little bit closer and pressed his lips softly to mine.

I wiped the tear from his cheek before winding my fingers through his hair, tightening my grip slightly. "I love you, too," I whispered against his lips. The kiss was so gentle and perfect, I gasped when I felt Edward's tongue sliding gently along my lip asking for entrance.

He deepened the kiss slowly, pulling me even closer to him. Our bodies touching everywhere, there was not a single sliver of space between us. He groaned slightly, the vibrations against my lips tickling me, as I gently massaged his scalp with my fingers.

My cheeks reddened at the sound.

We both would need air soon, but neither of us wanted to part. Edward eventually pulled his lips from mine, just as I was about to express my disapproval he pressed his lips to the hollow of my ear.

A small shudder racked my body at the light touch. I could feel his lips form into a smile as he glided across my jaw and down my throat, sending a tingling sensation down my spine with each press of his soft lips.

Forming a coherent thought was all but impossible as his lips continued their trail, brushing against my skin in soft strokes. "I… uh… Edward?" I managed to get out.

"Hmm." He murmured, kissing along my collarbone.

I couldn't seem to recall why I was interrupting our makeup, my mind in a complete daze. When Alice flashed across my memory I worked a little bit harder to gain some control over myself. "Edward?"

He nibbled gently along my collarbone. "Yes, love?"

Oh he was unfair. He knew exactly what he was doing to me and was enjoying it.

"We should… ah… we should probably…um… go inside. Before Alice comes… looking for us." I gasped.

Chuckling, Edward made his way back up to my lips. He pressed a few soft kisses against mine lips before pulling back slightly, hovering no more than an inch over my face. "I'm sure you're right."

Nodding, I tried to pull myself together.

Edward ran his hand through my hair tenderly, smiling at me. His eyes were filled with a joy that I hadn't seen in such a long time. "Shall we?"

"Yes." I blushed.

He wrapped his arm tightly around my waist, keeping me close against his side, and led us inside. We made our way through the crowd of people and stood just out of the way of the dance floor. "Would you care to dance?" He asked, waving nonchalantly to Alice.

I glanced around the room, biting my bottom lip nervously. "Promise not to let me fall?" I asked, knowing the extreme likelihood of that happening.

Kissing the hollow beneath my ear, Edward chuckled. "I promise." He brought me to the dance floor when I grudgingly agreed and pulled me close, one hand holding mine against his chest, and the other resting across my waist.

The dance floor was practically empty, it was just the two of us out there.

Swaying gently to the music, Edward did basically all of the work as he twirled me around. He stared into my eyes, pure love and adoration evident on his face.

My cheeks flamed up in response and I tried to hide my face in the crook of his neck.

"Don't be embarrassed, Bella." His velvet voice, so smooth, made my knees weak at the sound.

I lifted my eyes to meet his again. "I love you," I whispered breathlessly.

A smile spread across his lips, my favorite crooked smile. "As I love you, Bella," he whispered, before kissing the tip of my nose.

Everyone else was forgotten as he held me close, humming along with the music. I was happier and lighter than I had been when I first realized what I needed to do.

When the song came to an end, Edward lowered his head a little more and pressed his lips to mine, effectively helping me to forget the rest of the world around us. He pulled away after a minute with a smug smile on his face.

I glared at him and his smile became wider.

"My parents should be ready to go soon. It looks as though the party is starting to come to an end." Edward commented.

I smiled. "When we get home there are some things that we should discuss."

His eyes narrowed, warily. "Good things or bad things?"

"Umm, I'm pretty sure that they are good things." I teased, giggling slightly.

We made our way off of the dance floor and over to his parents. They were saying goodbyes to the guests as they left.

"Can we safely assume that the two of you have reconciled?" Esme asked me quietly as I stood beside her, a hint of hopefulness in her voice.

I stared at her in shock that she knew. Neither of us had said a word.

"Sweetheart, I am a mother." She said gently. "A mother knows when her children are hurting."

Biting my lower lip shyly, I finally nodded my head.

"That's wonderful, dear." She kissed my cheek.

I hugged her. "Thank you."

Since there were only a few people remaining, I told Edward that I was going to say goodnight to Alice and Rosalie. They were outside waiting for their husbands.

I went up to them, pulling Alice into a hug. Without me having to go into any details she hugged me back tightly and patted my back gently. "Thank you, Ali. For everything."

"You are more than welcome." She assured me.

Rosalie hugged me after I had released Alice. "We'll see you at lunch on Monday. I have a feeling that you and Edward have some making up to do."

My first instinct was to get angry with her, but she was right. Edward and I had a lot of things to work through and to make up for. I felt my cheeks flame up and tried to hide that from her when we pulled back.

"Our little girl is all grown up." She teased, looking over at Alice.

Alice squealed in excitement. "I'm so proud. It's about time the two of you start exploring each other a little. There's no need to be embarrassed about your feelings."

I glared at the both of them, sufficiently embarrassed. "Goodnight." I stomped off in a huff, the sound of their laughter making me even angrier as I entered the building again.

The rest of the remaining guests left and it was just the Cullens and me.

Edward was talking with Jasper and Emmett when I spotted him. The brightest smile graced his features, appearing more lighthearted than he had in months. His eyes found mine then and he winked at me.

Glancing down at my feet shyly for a second, I looked back up and saw Edward laughing. He said something to his brother's and then headed across the room to me.

When he got to me he stood in front of me for a second before taking my hand in his and kissing my shoulder a couple of times. It felt as though we were in the beginning stages of a relationship, a part I think that we had skipped over in the beginning. It felt good.

I blushed as Edward's lips grazed over my skin one more time before he stood up straight. My stomach filled with butterflies when our eyes met again, the intensity that his eyes were filled with shocked me.

Staring into each other's eyes, we could have been there for hours and I wouldn't have known. Everything else seemed to disappear whenever he was near.

Carlisle and Esme were waiting by the car when we finally managed to head outside. They watched us as we approached the car and smiled, shaking their heads.

Neither of them made any comments on the way home, which I was very grateful for. Carlisle and Edward discussed their work at the hospital and a case that they both seemed to be working on.

I stared out the window, listening to the soothing melody of Edward's voice.

He reached over and took my hand in his, tracing his thumb lightly over my knuckles as he continued to talk with Carlisle. He winked at me when I turned my head in his direction.

Glancing quickly to the backseat, I noticed that Esme was resting her head on Carlisle's shoulder and her eyes were closed, a look of complete contentment on her face. Carlisle's arm was wrapped around her, his cheek resting on the top of her head.

My heart gave an elaborate thump at the sweet gesture. Their life together hadn't always been easy, but somehow they managed to work through it. Together.

That's what I wanted with Edward, for us to be happy and in love, to just be together.

Edward pulled into the garage of our apartment building and pulled into his parking space. He was out of the car and opening my door in record time.

We all took the elevator up to the top floor and then said goodnight to his parents; they were staying in the guest room for the night.

Once Edward and I had gotten ready for bed, I realized that we were standing on opposite sides of the room from each other. I was leaning up against the closet door and Edward was standing near his side of the bed.

"Bella," Edward eventually said, his voice cracking slightly.

I pushed myself off of the door and walked slowly toward him. My stomach was filled with butterflies as I neared Edward, a reaction that seemed to be permanent every time I got anywhere close to him.

Edward turned so that he was facing me when I finally got to him. His composure told me that he was calm and in control, until I looked into his eyes. They showed apprehension and excitement, insecurity. "Hi."

"Hi," I chuckled, a nervous giggle.

We took a couple more steps until we were directly in front of each other and I felt Edward's arms slip around my waist. He pulled me up against his chest, our eyes never breaking their hold.

There was a charge in the air, a palpable difference that hadn't been there before, and I found it difficult to think straight.

I could feel my breathing hitch as Edward brought one of his hands up to stroke my cheek. My skin tingled at the touch of his skin against mine, causing me to shiver in pleasure.

A crooked grin spread across his mouth when he saw my reaction to his touch. It hadn't felt that way in a long time.

He leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead for a moment, trailing them down to my temple and finally to my ear. "Are you ready to go to bed," he asked me, his breath tickling me.

Not trusting my voice, I just nodded.

Before I could even realize what was happening, Edward stooped down and scooped me up into his arms. He laughed at my apparent shock and pressed a kiss to my temple.

I wanted to be angry with him, but it was difficult to be when I saw the joy on his face. The peace and knowing, that things were the way that they were supposed to be.

He carried me the small distance to the bed and placed the both of us down in the center.

My cheeks began flaming up as Edward continued to watch me.

"You are so beautiful. I do love when you blush." He ran his finger across my heated cheek.

There was a part of me that still wanted to run and hide, to cover myself up. I fought with those feelings, reminding myself that Edward wouldn't hurt me.

With a few deep breaths, I pushed Edward back so that he was against the headboard and then climbed into lap. I set my legs on either side of him so that I was straddling him, my eyes shut tightly in an attempt to keep myself calm.

"You don't have to do this, Bella." Edward whispered. He wanted me to feel comfortable and safe.

Opening my eyes, I lifted them so that I could look into his and felt myself calm down immediately. "I… I'm okay." I assured him.

He rested his hands on top of my thighs, rubbing them in a soothing motion as I worked to calm down. When I eventually relaxed and sat on his lap, Edward moved his arms so that they were resting around my waist.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and played with his soft bronze locks, looking into his eyes as a way to keep my fears at bay. We continued sitting in silence for a long time, letting the moment sink in.

For all I knew we could have been sitting there like that for hours or even days, neither of us moved, but it was perfect. Edward brought me back to the present when he tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear and kissed the tip of my nose.

Taking another deep breath before I spoke, I bit my bottom lip for a second. "Can we talk about something?" I asked shyly.

"Anything." Edward assured me, running his fingers along my spine the way he used to.

Continuing to bite on my lip, I thought over what I wanted to say to him. It wasn't exactly a difficult discussion to have, just a tricky one. "This feels incredibly selfish of me, to suggest that since I'm ready for this that you should be to. If you're not then I will understand completely."

"Hey," Edward interrupted me. "You can tell me anything."

"Do you think we could…um… that we could… set our wedding date now?" I asked barely above a whisper, abruptly trying to bury my face in his shoulder.

Edward brought one of his hands to my face, keeping me from ducking away from his gaze. "Bella, do you mean it?" His tone was one of awe and surprise, as though he wasn't sure if he had heard me correctly.

"Yes. I'm so sorry that I've hurt you, Edward, and made you feel as though I don't want you." My voice shook as I continued to speak, realizing just how much my actions could have hurt him. "I want to be your wife, to be yours and to have you be mine."

"Bella," he said, my name coming out like a strangled moan, before pressing his lips to mine firmly. He parted my lips gently and played his tongue against mine, slowly driving me crazy.

The intensity of the kiss grew and I felt his hands grasp onto my hips, an action that ordinarily would have frightened me, but I found the panic dissolving before I could give it a second thought.

When we both needed to breathe, Edward glided his lips along my cheek and to my jaw. I was practically panting as he continued his trail down to my collarbone. He was very gentle, trying his best, I think, to not go too far.

Just when I thought I was going to either panic or self combust, Edward placed one more gentle kiss on the juncture between my neck and shoulder before lifting his head. "You have no idea how happy you have made me, love."

My brain took a few minutes to catch up to what had just happened as my breathing returned to normal and my heart rate slowed down.

It seemed almost strange that our night had progressed the way that it had. Less than a week ago I was barely able to sit comfortably with him when he had his shirt off, and now things were definitely shifting.

As I looked into Edward's eyes my doubts disappear. I had been afraid, but the thought of losing him was much more terrifying to me. The fears I had were still there, they couldn't just magically disappear, but with Edward's help I was going to work through them.

I wasn't afraid to open myself up to him anymore, to give him the opportunity to help not only me, but us as well.

With my cheeks flushed and heated, I closed my eyes and sighed in contentment. He wanted this too.

That knowledge made me happier than I ever thought possible. I went over possible dates, most too far away to even consider.

"How about June 20th?" I finally suggested.

Edward seemed shocked for a moment. "My birthday?"

"It's only three months away, which will give Alice and Rosalie plenty of time to get everything together, and we can have the summer together." Maybe he wouldn't want it then. Was I being to presumptuous? Does he want a longer engagement?

"Love, that sounds perfect. I don't want to wait any longer than necessary to finally make you my wife." His beautiful crooked smile lit up his features before he pressed his lips to mine again.

On the inside I was squealing and jumping up and down with excitement. Edward liked the idea. He wanted to get married quickly too.

I reluctantly pulled back from his lips and smiled at him, another idea occurring to me. "Can we try one more thing?" Tonight was about him.

He chuckled, shaking his head at me. "Of course. What would like to try, my love?"

Reaching behind me, I took Edward's right hand from around my waist and brought it in front of me. "Do you know what I love about you, besides your selflessness and beautiful soul," I asked him.

Silently, he shook his head.

"I love your hands. I love how strong they are and how no matter what else has been going on, they always manage to make me feel safe." I kissed the palm of his hand, before pressing it to my cheek. "When you play the piano, or run your fingers through my hair, or rest your hand on the small of my back, I know that it will be okay."

A few tears ran down his cheeks as I spoke, his other hand gripping my waist a little tighter.

"Thank you, for saving me, for loving me, for making me feel special and wanted." I turned my face and kissed the palm of his hand again. "Thank you."

"It has been my pleasure, Bella." He pressed his lips to mine.

Considering how the day had started out, I never would have dreamed that we would have ended up here, with our wedding date set and reveling in such a perfect moment. I rested my head in the crook of his neck after we parted, sighing to myself as he laid us down on our sides.

Edward kissed my temple and began humming my lullaby. "Sleep, love, it's been a long day," he murmured, before returning to the song.

I pressed a kiss to his neck before I succumbed to unconsciousness, a smile on my face.


	8. A moment of Bliss

I don't own Twilight. all Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

Chapter Eight

A moment of Bliss

Edward and I spent the weekend locked up in the apartment. His parents stayed for breakfast in the morning and we went down to see them off, but after that we didn't leave the apartment.

It felt great to lay in our bed and stay curled up in each other's arms. We talked some more about everything that had happened, clearing everything up between us.

"May I ask you a question, Bella," Edward whispered, the television was on and set at a background noise level.

I nodded, playing with the buttons on his shirt.

"That night, when you said that you weren't afraid anymore, I was just curious what had changed your mind." His eyes searched mine, gauging my reaction.

"That's not a question." I bit my lip nervously.

He smirked slightly at me. "Please Bella?" He pleaded.

"Do you remember when I told you that Rose and I talked about what happened to her?" I continued after he nodded. "Well she helped me realize some things and when I came home I undressed and looked at myself for the first time since the attack in the mirror. I didn't tell you because really wasn't sure how I felt about it."

His finger tucked under my chin and he lifted it so that I was forced to meet his eyes.

"After we had that talk I realized a couple of things. I was trying and I did want us to have a normal relationship, but there was a part of me that was still holding back. I couldn't even tell you about my being able to look at myself in the mirror. I wasn't looking at our marriage as a partnership, as our souls becoming one, but more as a fear of you being disappointed in me."

He opened his mouth to say something, but I brought my hand to his lips to stop him.

"James damaged me, Edward. The image I once had of myself has been severely altered." I moved my hand from his lips, going back to playing with the buttons on his shirt. "That fear made me forget the most important thing. Us. You and me."

He pressed his lips gently to my forehead.

"Rosalie and Alice have been wonderful in helping me work through some of those thoughts and feelings. Friday they helped me see your reasoning behind our argument." I glanced up to his eyes again, trying to decipher what he must have been thinking. "I was still deciding on what I was going to do before we left for the party, but I couldn't wait any longer once I saw you.

"It was you that changed my mind, Edward," I admitted shyly.

The smile that lit up his face knocked me breathless. He was beyond words as my favorite crooked grin spread across his features, beautiful, and before I could even consider trying to form a coherent thought he pressed his gentle lips to mine.

I gasped when he traced my lips with his tongue, deepening the kiss in a slow sensual way. My body shivered in pleasure and I tightened my arms around his neck.

All too soon he pulled away, breathing heavier than usual. "May I ask you another question?" His velvety smooth voice held a slightly huskier tone to it.

"Of course," I managed to get out.

He lifted his hand to my face, running his finger along my temple to my jaw. "Was seeing yourself in the mirror difficult?"

"Not as difficult as I had assumed. I was terrified the entire time, but I wanted to take that step if it meant that it would help us move toward a normal relationship." I could still feel my body trembling in fear as I stood before the mirror in our bathroom, naked and vulnerable. "May I ask you something now?"

Edward's crooked smile grew and he nodded. "You can ask me anything, love."

"Can we forget everything else for a little while? Just be Edward and Bella?" I asked him. "I feel as though we have wasted so much time with all of this unnecessary angst and hurt. Can we just be us?"

"Hmmm," he pretended to be deep in thought for a moment, "I think that I can handle that." He lowered his voice, kissing the tip of my nose.

I blushed slightly and snuggled in close to him, tucking my head under his chin. "Thank you."

We stayed snuggled together on the bed for most of the morning. Our stomachs eventually alerted us that we hadn't eaten, so I offered to fix something while Edward climbed into the shower.

He eventually agreed and made his way to the bathroom.

I went down to the kitchen and looked in the refrigerator to see what we had that I could fix. Deciding to go with something simple, I gathered the ingredients for grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup.

By the time Edward came down I had finished with one sandwich and poured some of the soup into a bowl. He kissed my hair, grabbing a glass from one of the cabinets. "This looks wonderful. Thank you."

"You're welcome." I smiled. Once my sandwich was finished I put it on a plate and got the rest of the soup before I sat next to Edward. We ate in a comfortable silence, seeing no need to fill the air with chatter.

After we finished eating and cleaned the kitchen I curled up on the couch with a new book, excited to delve into a new world. The book had captured my interest for a while, until I heard music coming from upstairs.

Edward.

I closed my book, making sure to mark my place, and made my way up the stairs and to Edward's piano room. Whenever I heard him play I felt as though I was melting. His music was beautiful and so intricate. I stood in the doorway and listened as he played my lullaby.

His fingers danced expertly over the keys as the notes filled the room and his eyes closed. He seemed so at ease, content, and my heart filled with joy at seeing him that way.

When the song began winding down I walked into the room and wrapped my arms around his neck. "That was beautiful." I whispered.

"Thank you, love." He brought my hand up to his mouth and lightly brushed his lips across my skin before releasing it again. He began playing a different song, one that I hadn't heard before.

"Is this new," I asked him.

He nodded his head. "I started it a couple of weeks ago and today… today I felt inspired." His mouth lifted into my favorite crooked smile as he continued to play.

Feeling my cheeks redden, I pressed my lips to his neck in a soft kiss and then stood up. I was glad that he was happy and composing again, I had missed it, but there was still a shy part of me that was embarrassed that I was the cause.

Before I could pull away Edward lifted my hand and gently brushed his lips over the sensitive skin. He winked at me and then went back to playing.

I felt giddy and excited for the first time in a long time. I wanted to jump on my bed and squeal into the pillows, I was in love and enjoying it.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

My fingers began drumming nervously on the arm rest of the couch Edward and I sat on as we waited for Jasper. I didn't know why I was so nervous, what happened over the weekend was a good thing. Our session had been moved to Tuesday this week instead of Friday, our little bubble that we had been in, broken.

I glanced over at Edward and he smiled at me encouragingly.

"Alright," Jasper finally swiveled his chair around to face us. "Well, it's been a couple of weeks since we've had a session Life has gotten in the way and I'm going to assume that a lot has happened in the mean time. Who would like to start?"

Edward and I glanced at each other, neither of us making the first move to begin.

Jasper nodded, a small smile spreading across his face. "Bella, why don't you start for us? The last time we spoke we dealt a little with your feelings on the attack and your body. Where are you with that?"

I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Talking about this was never easy. I was barely able to tell Edward all of those things. "Well, I'm trying to come to terms with it."

"How so?" Jasper asked softly.

"Rose and Alice have talked with me a little, helped me figure some things out." I said, really not wanting to talk about this. I opened my mouth to speak, but shut it rather quickly.

Discussing this with Edward was one thing, but as I tried to explain this to Jasper I just couldn't seem to do it. Even though we had been in therapy with him for months, I still didn't find it easy to open up to Jasper.

I tried to say something else, to express where my head was at, and shut my mouth almost immediately. I had only said a couple of sentences. What was the matter with me?

Without even realizing what I was doing, I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes tightly. I knew that we shouldn't have come, I hadn't been ready for it, but somehow they both talked me into it.

Almost imperceptibly, I felt something curl around my pinkie finger. I turned my head to the side and saw Edward's pinkie wrapped around mine. It was a small gesture, an encouragement for me to continue.

Letting out a small sigh, I brought my eyes to Edward's. He squeezed my finger gently and I smiled. I had opened up to him so much over the past few days and I had felt lighter and freer than I had in months.

Opening up to Edward had been scary, but I did it. Why was it easier for me to do that than it was for me to discuss this with Jasper as well? It wasn't as though Jasper had said or done anything to make me not trust me, just the opposite actually. He had gone out of his way to build the trust in our relationship.

I had talked about the attack, my fears, so much that I had been unwilling to share the first time around. What made this different?

Maybe… maybe it was because this was the first real step _I_ had taken in our relationship. Allowing Edward to see the things in me I had tried to keep hidden for so long and he hadn't run away from me.

Chewing on my bottom lip, I realized again just how much Edward had done for me and all the things he had put up with for me. I truly didn't deserve him.

If he could do that, in hopes that we could have this, I could do this. He deserved to be cared for and loved wholeheartedly and I wanted to give him that. I wanted to get better so that I could give Edward everything that he had given me, to love him with everything that I had.

Taking in another deep breath and letting it out slowly, I began talking. "Rosalie helped push me into finally looking in the mirror. I realized that I had been basking in my fear and I needed to take that step. It wasn't easy, but I did it." I squeezed Edward's pinky.

"Edward and I got into a fight a few days after I looked in the mirror, the week we canceled our session. I didn't tell him about my semi-breakthrough." I glanced up and noticed Jasper watching me, there was a look of concern was on his face, yet encouragement to continue in his eyes. "I had spent the afternoon with Jake."

Before I could continue Edward cleared his throat. "Jacob was just the catalyst that helped us both realize things weren't right."

"What do you mean?" Jasper asked.

"Jacob brought Bella home that afternoon and I happened to catch sight of them when I entered the building. I saw them arguing and as I watched them I realized that Bella was a lot more comfortable around him. She didn't hold back when she fought with him." Edward explained to Jasper. Hearing the hurt in his voice as he remembered those events made my heart ache.

"Is that what the fight was about?" Jasper wrote something down on his notebook.

Edward nodded his head curtly. "I told her that for both of our sakes I needed her to decide if marrying me was what she truly wanted. I just wanted for her to be happy, and if that was going to be with me then that was fine."

"Neither of us was in a good place at that point. I knew that I had hurt Edward and wanted nothing more than to make things right with him." I kept my eyes on him, on our connected fingers. "The day of the party was when I realized what I had to do, thanks to Alice.

"I took a chance, a leap, and opened myself up to Edward completely. I showed him the real me." I admitted shyly.

The room was silent for a long time.

Finally, when I couldn't take it anymore, I looked up at Jasper and saw him watching me. There was an emotion on his face that I don't think I had seen before, at least one that I hadn't seen in a long time.

"Bella," his voice broke for a second, "I am so proud of you. That was not an easy thing to do, but you finally trusted him. And you've finally trusted me to be open and honest." The pride on his face made me smile. "For once you haven't been afraid of something good happening to you."

I felt as though another weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.

"And Edward, you finally opened up to Bella. You have been from the beginning, but since the attack you've been hesitant to say or do anything that might upset Bella, but when you told her to decide, you not helped yourself, you also gave Bella the push that she needed to finally let go." Jasper praised us both.

"Theirs is one thing that I'd like for the two of you to do now." He smiled, the confidence in his demeanor assuring us that we could do whatever he asked.

We looked at each other nervously for a moment and then back to Jasper.

He leaned forward slightly. "At some point, when you both are ready, I'd like you to speak with Jacob."

Edward tensed next to me and I froze.

"Not right away. I know this is not an easy thing for me to ask you, but the way you left things with him, the both of you will end up associating Jacob with this painful memory." Jasper explained his voice soothing. "With everything that you have been through with him, I know that neither of you would want that."

I thought over what he had said. Though I didn't want to admit it, he did have a good point. Jacob was family. He and I had grown up together in most respects and I didn't want to lose him.

Jasper gave us a few minutes to absorb what he had said and then began talking again. "Now, how about we discuss some ways to work on your relationship?"

My cheeks flushed bright red. That was what I was afraid of.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Instead of going straight home, Edward took me to the store so that we could get some food for the week. He helped me out of the car once he found a parking spot and even graciously offered to push the shopping cart for me while I picked out what we would need.

We both quietly reflected on what we had discussed in therapy, at least near the end of our session. I still wasn't very sure how I felt about Jasper's suggestions, but this was about us becoming more comfortable with each other.

Once I was sure that we had everything that we would need and we made it through the line, Edward packed the groceries in the car and drove us home.

He only let me carry one bag inside when we got to the apartment and smiled down at me when I tried to pout. "After you." He wasn't going to budge.

Rolling my eyes, I got into the elevator and put the key in for our floor. I thought it was sweet that he liked to do those things for me, but it didn't mean that I wasn't capable of doing it for myself. I had to do that on my own long before I met Edward.

"Let me spoil you, Bella." He said before kissing me on the forehead, his eyes pleading with me to comply.

Smiling, I removed my key and stepped out of the elevator when the doors opened. How could I deny such a request? I followed him into the kitchen and began to unpack the groceries while he leaned back against the counter.

After about five minutes passed, Edward finally spoke. "What would you say to us going away for the weekend?"

I shut the refrigerator door, not sure if I heard him correctly. "Really?"

He nodded, moving so that he was standing in front of me. He took my hands in his and his thumbs across my knuckles. "We could use the time away. Maybe we could visit your mother in Florida."

Visit Renee? I had really missed her and our phone calls never really seemed to be long enough. "Are you sure?" I didn't want to take him away from his family.

"Yes, I'm sure. I think it would be good for us to get away for a few days and I know that you miss your mom." He smiled hopefully, "So is that a yes?"

Pretending to think about it for a second, I bit my lip and stared up at the ceiling for a couple of seconds. "Of course it's a yes," I giggled and threw myself into his arms.

He chuckled as he hugged me back. "Great. I'll make the arrangements. Is two weeks enough time to get everything set up?"

"That sounds perfect." I stood up on the tips of my toes and pressed my lips to his, winding my fingers through his soft bronze locks. "Thank you."

* * *

_Thank you guys so much for your continued support with this story. You guys are absolutely amazing and you have no idea what it means to me. Special thanks to **SorceressCirce **for lending me Pinkieward for this chapter and for helping me work out the kinks in the therapy scene. You really helped me out and I greatly appreciate it.  
_

_While I wrote this chapter one song sort of stuck out to me and I used it for a little inspiration. **Lucky** by **Jason Mraz** and **Colbie Caillat **beautiful song. Just so I don't get questions about this later, I know that I didn't go into what Jasper told them to do to work on their relationship. I want to do that in the next chapter. This just seemed like a good place to end it._

_I've been having a difficult time with my stories lately so I'm trying not to over due it. FTLOK should be up soon, I'm working on it I promise. Be sure to check out the threads for these two stories over on the Twilighted forums I'll post the links on my profile later._

_Don't forget to review, I want to see if we can get to **350**!  
_


	9. The Wedding Planners and the Mothers

I don't own Twilight. all Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

Chapter Nine

The Wedding Planners and the Mothers

I was fast asleep, snuggled closely in Edward's arms, when the most annoying sound in the world woke me up. Alice's giggle filled our bedroom and it took me a few seconds to realize that it was my cell phone ringing. Wriggling carefully out of Edward's embrace, I reached over to my night stand and picked it up.

"Go away," I mumbled, still half asleep.

"We have a wedding to plan, Bella. Up, up, up." She giggled.

Edward wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into his chest again. "Who is it, Bella?" His voice was husky and thick with sleep.

"An annoying wedding fairy." I moaned. "How did find out already?"

"There's three months until the big day, Bella. We have so much to get done by then. I just want this day to be perfect for you." Her tone took on a sweet, innocent like quality. "Besides, how long did you think you could keep it a secret? Please?"

I felt like crying. Planning a wedding was not really something I had ever imagined myself doing. "Fine, I'll meet you at Rose's in an hour."

Edward kissed my neck softly. "You don't have to go if you don't want to, love." He tried to reassure me.

"She would come here and drag me out of the bed if I didn't show up." I sighed, curling up in his arms. Our trip was finally just a day away. We were flying out on Friday morning, giving us the rest of that day, all day Saturday, and most of Sunday.

"Just a few more minutes, I'm not ready to let you go yet." He buried his nose in my hair, taking a deep breath in.

I was not about to put up a fight. Closing my eyes, I settled back into his embrace and sighed contentedly. My body began drifting off to sleep again until I felt warm fingers stroking the exposed skin of my stomach.

"Mmm… so soft," Edward murmured.

His warm hands felt good against my skin. When his fingers found the scars on my hips that I tried so desperately to hide, my body jerked automatically and I tried to pull away from him.

Edward wouldn't have that though. He tightened his arms around me, not allowing me to hide from him. "What's wrong?" he whispered.

I thought that it was something I had moved passed. But, as soon as he touched them all of my old fears came rushing back. What if he saw them and he became disgusted? What if he wouldn't see me the same way after really seeing me?

"Bella, talk to me." Edward's gentle voice broke through the stream of panicked thoughts and images that had been flooding my vision.

Squeezing my eyes shut tightly, I took in a deep breath before answering him. "The scars. When you touched them I… I got scared," I eventually admitted, too embarrassed to look into his eyes.

He ran his finger lightly along my jaw, making me tingle all over. Continuing with his quiet assurance, he waited silently for me to continue.

"I guess I just… what if you don't like what you see?" My voice was barely above a whisper.

"That's impossible, love." He grabbed my chin gently in his hand and forced me to meet his gaze.

"You can't know that." I sighed.

Growling softly, Edward released his hold on me and tossed the covers off of us. I was too shocked to respond, watching as he moved so that he was hovering over me and lifted his shirt I was wearing up to my chest.

"Edward, what are you-" I shrieked at him. What had come over him?

"Just relax, Bella. I am not going to hurt you." His voice was low and husky, speaking in a soothing tone meant to assuage my discomfort. "Breathe. You know that you can trust me."

Deep breaths, I breathed in and out slowly, as I tried desperately to calm down. I hadn't had a panic attack like this in such a long time. Things had been going so well, why did I have to freak out again?

"That's right, love." His hands were resting on my sides, holding me firmly.

I could do this, right? Edward loved me, he would never hurt me. Steady, slow deep breaths.

My heart finally began to slow down and my breathing became normal.

Edward had settled himself in between my legs and had his arms on either side of my hips, his hands still gripping my sides firmly. Rubbing soothing circles into my skin, Edward watched me cautiously, gauging my reaction to him.

When I continued to lie there, making no effort to pull away or force him off of me, he grinned. A pleased expression graced his features as he lowered his face toward my stomach.

I tensed automatically. What was he doing?

"It's okay, love." Edward assured me again, lifting his eyes toward me, looking up through his lashes.

Nodding my head in agreement, I unclenched my muscles in an effort to relax. I lay still, closing my eyes and listening to Edward's breaths, the steady sound a distraction from my fears.

Finally, when I felt more at ease I looked down at Edward, chewing anxiously on my lip. He watched me for what felt like hours, searching my eyes intently.

He must have found whatever he was looking for, because he lowered his mouth toward my stomach in a slow decent.

Butterflies filled my stomach as I waited, wondering what his plan was exactly. When his lips finally touched my skin, a warm heat spread over me. I tingled all over, barely registering the fact that he was kissing the scar across my right hip. It was a sweet, innocent kiss.

The slight pressure of his lips, soft and warm, were familiar yet not as he discovered the new flesh that was exposed to him. The onslaught of sensations his touch invoked were overwhelming.

Then I felt his tongue.

I tensed up at first, but began to relax as he continued his slow ministrations. He nibbled and licked at my right hip, sucking the skin gently. His lips glided along my stomach, working their way to my other hip. Kissing and nibbling, sucking and licking, he was reverently worshiping my body in the tenderest way.

Edward was showing his desire, his longing for me, never pushing for more. The patterns his fingers traced on my skin with his thumbs, the soft pressure of his lips, had me spinning in a whirl wind of emotions. He was loving me in a way no one ever had.

A single tear fell down my cheek, making way for more, as he lifted his eyes to mine, never ceasing his adoration of my body. I tried to wipe them away, feeling my cheeks heat up in embarrassment. He was taking such care with me, making sure his adoration was expressed with every movement of his lips and stroke of his fingers.

I was melting into him, surprised not only by the moans that wanted to come out, but by my physical reaction to his touch. This sensation, this feeling flowing throughout my body was not one that I had experienced before.

My fingers wound themselves into his hair of their own accord, encouraging him to continue. A slight hum coming from him caused a vibration on his lips that tickled my skin. I squirmed, feeling his lips curve up into a smile.

Placing one last kiss just above the band of my pajama bottoms, Edward moved from between my legs and lay down beside me. He wrapped his arms around me, adjusting us so that I was lying against his chest.

Kissing the few tears that remained, Edward brought one of his hands up to cup my face, knotting his fingers through my hair as well. "You are beautiful, Bella." He pressed his forehead to mine, our breaths intermingling.

I didn't know how to respond. Our morning had turned out completely different that I had imagined.

One of my deepest fears, especially after the attack, was that I could never be intimate without feeling James, without remembering how it felt when he forced himself on me. But, Edward proved me wrong.

My body responded to him and I wasn't afraid. I pressed my lips to his, thrilled at this new revelation. "I love you, Edward." I whimpered, massaging his scalp as I ran my fingers through his hair.

He chuckled. "I love you too, Bella."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

"Isabella Marie Swan, you were supposed to be here forty-five minutes ago. Where the hell have you been?" Alice huffed as I entered the kitchen in Rosalie's house.

Grabbing a mug from one of the cabinets, I adjusted my body position so that my back was to them. I wasn't ready to talk about what had transpired that morning; it was something between Edward and me.

Picking up the coffee pot and pouring some of the delicious smelling caffeine into my cup, I thought about my answer. "I, uh, had an accident." I put the pot back and turned to face my friends, doing my best to make my expression neutral.

They both eyed me, watching for any clues. I thought they were both going to let it go, but then I saw a flicker of realization flash in Alice's eyes. She didn't say anything, which was extremely uncharacteristic for her, but I knew she wasn't going to let this go.

Sipping my coffee, I sat down at the kitchen table right next to Alice. She placed a rather large binder in front of me and smiled brightly.

"What exactly is this?" I asked nervously.

Rosalie spoke up this time. "It's a wedding planner book. This way we can keep track of everything that we decide on, make sure that we're on schedule. You will be so thankful for this when the date starts getting closer."

Just thinking about our wedding made my cheeks turn pink. "Alright, so umm… what's first on the list?"

"Locations. Since we only have a few months, the spaces are going to be somewhat limited." Alice explained, opening and flipping through the book already. "So, I was thinking we could get a list together and then go scouting for the best one."

"There's a pretty detailed list back at my office." Rosalie offered. "I can peruse through it this afternoon, see if I can find anything."

"Great. I'll call you this evening to get the details." Alice made a quick note of that.

I quietly sipped my coffee. There was only one place that came to mind when I thought about where we could have our ceremony. The Cullens home in Forks. It was where our relationship really got its start, where we had gotten engaged, and what better way to begin our lives together than to create new memories in a place that hadn't exactly treated us well before.

We were starting fresh now, doing things differently.

"How about Forks?" I suggested, softly.

Alice and Rosalie got quiet.

"The Cullens property is absolutely breath-taking and they would have more than enough room to accommodate the guests since it will only be close friends and family." I was surprised at my excitement with the idea, but it truly seemed like the perfect place.

"You know, I think that might actually work." Alice flipped through the book again, going off on some idea with Rose that went over my head.

I sat back and listened to them talk, nodding when the occasion called for it and smiling my agreement. Most, if not all, that they had planned would take weeks to accomplish. How we would get through it all was beyond me.

Flowers, invitations, table settings, bride's maid dresses, my head was spinning with each new piece of the puzzle they brought up.

I was rather grateful that Alice had already gotten my dress; that meant she wouldn't be dragging me to bridal shops now.

When the topic of a bridal shower and bachelorette party came up, I felt my cheeks turn an even brighter shade of red than I thought possible. "That's really not necessary. I don't need either," I tried to object.

"Nonsense, Bella. These are rites of passage, something every woman has before her wedding." Rosalie had a knowing smirk on her face, the implication behind the look making me nervous.

"Besides," Alice giggled, "you're not going to spoil all of our fun, are you?"

I shook my head, giving in with a sigh.

Once I had finished my coffee I got up and brought over to the kitchen sink to rinse it out.

"Esme is going to be absolutely thrilled. I know she can't wait to help plan either." Alice exclaimed. "We'll have to call Renee too, get her input."

The fact that Esme would want to be involved had never crossed my mind. I felt an immense sense of pride at that fact. Women always seemed to vie for the affection of their mother-in-laws, usually ending up on the opposite end of that spectrum. But, I was extremely lucky. Esme had watched me grow up, seen me at my worst, and yet still loved me. She thought I was good enough for her son.

"I can ask Renee her thoughts this weekend in Jacksonville." I put the mug in the dishwasher and dried my hands with a towel.

"Perfect." Alice made another note in the book and then closed it. "Do you want to take this with you, or would you like me to keep it?" She shook her head as soon as she finished speaking. "Never mind, I'll hold on to it."

She picked up her bag and put the book inside, linking her arm through mine before we left. "Lunch tomorrow, Rose?" She called over her shoulder.

"Absolutely." Rosalie grinned.

I followed Alice out, biding my time until she started with the interrogation. Just when I put my purse down and shut the passenger door to my car, I felt Alice's eyes on me. "Nothing happened."

That was not enough to deter her though. When she wanted answers, nothing would stop her from getting them. "Bella, you showed up forty-five minutes late and you had the biggest smile on your face that I've ever seen. Something happened."

Blushing, I ducked my head and moved around the car to the driver's side. "Please don't make me talk about it."

Her gasp of indignation caught me off guard. "Bella, this is the type of moment that best friends are for. Granted I don't want full disclosure, after all you are talking about my cousin, but this is a monumental moment." Without even looking at her I could see her bouncing with excitement.

"We haven't slept together, Ali. I just… can I keep this to myself for just a little while longer?" I pleaded with her. "I promise to fill you in on the details, but I'm just not ready to yet."

She stared at me for a moment, searching my expression. "Of course, I understand. Have a safe trip." She hugged me tightly, her grip surprisingly strong. "As soon as you get back we are having a movie marathon."

I giggled, opening the car door. "It's been too long. Edward just rolls his eyes at me now whenever I bring a new movie home. He just doesn't understand."

"Well, we'll have to teach him the art of a fabulous film." She winked.

Shaking my head, I climbed into my car with a grin on my face. I started the car and made my way toward my publisher's office. Even though it hadn't been that long since the book had been released and it seemed crazy to think about starting another book, I wanted to discuss it with Angela.

Considering I wasn't going on any book tours and the sales had been better than I could have imagined, I needed something to occupy my time. A few ideas had been roaming around in my head that had potential.

I wanted to run them by Angela and get her opinion on writing again. Getting this done would make our weekend that much more enjoyable. Once I got to the publisher's I knocked on her door and stood in the doorway.

"I know that look. What have you got for me today?" Angela smirked from her desk, waving me in.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Edward took care of all of the arrangements for our trip, even booking us a hotel room. Renee had insisted on us staying with her, but he managed to assure her that we would better off at a hotel. He didn't tell me about the hotel reservations until we were in the air and halfway to our destination. Apparently he had booked the Presidential suite at the Omni Hotel; everything had already been paid for.

The car he had rented was way too extravagant as well, but I decided to let it go. He was going out of his way to make this a memorable trip for me; I didn't want to argue with him about trivial things. This was our time to just forget about everything else and enjoy each other.

"Love, wake up. We're at your mother's." Edward whispered, stroking my cheek gently with his index finger.

I blinked my eyes open, yawning.

Chuckling, he leaned over and pressed a kiss to my temple. "Are you ready?"

Nodding my head, I tried to smile. We had spent Friday night catching up with my mom and Phil, trying to talk her out of fixing dinner for us, and then calling for pizza after she officially burnt the food.

Renee and I were so much alike; it felt good to be with her again. She held my hand when I told her about what I had been going through lately and sympathized with me when I explained the situation with Jake. It was just nice to be able to talk to her. We giggled and joked with each other.

Later that evening she even took us on a tour of the house, pointing out her favorite pictures and pieces of furniture in each room.

With all of that out of the way now, it was time to tell her about the wedding.

So, Edward helped me out of the car and we went up to the house. Phil was in the back yard barbequing and Renee was in the kitchen possibly preparing to burn it down.

I smiled up at Edward. "Do you mind going outside and helping Phil? I think it would be better if I told Renee this by myself."

"Of course," he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine gently. "I'll come right back in if you need me."

"Thank you." I watched him head through the doors in the kitchen that led outside and then turned to see Renee, her hair pinned back and an apron on. She was partially covered in flour, whisking a bowl brownie batter.

"Let me help you, Mom." I stepped in, taking a mixer from the other counter and plugged it in. It quickly beat up the batter, giving it the thick consistency that was required.

Renee grinned when I shut the mixer off and dipped her finger in the bowl, tasting the concoction now considered edible. "Thank you. Mmm… that's good."

I found the pan that she had set out for the brownies, and started spooning the batter into it. "Mom, can we talk about something?"

"Sure, baby. What's on your mind?" She had removed one of the beaters from the mixer and was licking the leftover chocolate off.

"Well, do you remember how I told you about that misunderstanding I had with Jake that led to that big fight with Edward?" I scooped out the rest of batter and placed the bowl down, shaking the pan to make sure that it spread out evenly.

Renee nodded, offering me some of the beater.

"No thank you," I declined. "Edward and I made up the following week, as you know, but there is something else." I hesitated, not sure exactly how to phrase it.

"You're pregnant. Oh honey, that's wonderful. It's amazing how medicine is advancing that you can find out so quickly now-a-days." She squealed.

My cheeks had never been redder. How could she possibly think that? I was barely adjusting to the fact that I wanted more from Edward. That he could touch me and I wouldn't freak out. "No, Mom. I'm not pregnant," I tried to keep the bitterness out of my tone. "Edward and I set the wedding date."

"Oh," Renee looked abashed for a moment and then, tossing the cleaned off beater into the sink, placed her hands on her hips. "Well of course you have. Isn't the wedding coming up pretty soon?"

"June actually, but how did you know? We only just set it." I checked the oven, making sure it was heated and then slid the pan inside before setting a timer.

"Really? I assumed that you had set it a long time ago." Renee confessed. She let my words sink in and then a look of pure delight appeared. "That means you're still planning it then. I'm sure there's so much to be done." She picked up her cell phone that had been resting on the counter, placing a call.

I waited to see who it was that she was calling, my jaw dropping when I heard Esme's name. When it became apparent that she was going to be on the phone for awhile, I went out to the back yard. I found Edward sitting on one of the deck chairs, a beer in his hand, and laughing at something Phil had said.

"Did you mother manage to make dessert?" Phil asked, flipping the steaks over on the grill.

"Yes, they are in the oven as we speak." I smiled. He eyed me suspiciously and I gave in. "Alright, I helped her with the rest of it, but she managed to get all of the ingredients gathered together and had the oven turned on to the correct temperature."

Phil laughed, heading inside, beer in hand.

"So," Edward motioned for me to join him, "how did she take the news?" He helped me into his lap.

I stared back at the kitchen. "Pretty well actually. She didn't seemed surprised at first, but she realized that there was still plenty of planning left she got right on the phone and called Esme."

Edward laughed, a joyous, musical sound, as he tossed his head back. "If anything, this should give them plenty of time to bond with each other." He kissed my shoulder.

"Or give them ample time to get completely out of control. With our mothers and your sisters planning, we will have little to no say in anything, and may not be allowed to go to the ceremony." I only half joked. That was a possibility with Alice in charge.

"That may not be such a bad thing." Edward wiggled his brows playfully. He leaned in a little closer to me, kissing my collarbone. "Instead of going through a long drawn out ceremony and reception, we could just head straight to our honeymoon."

"Mmm," I hummed in pleasure. "Where exactly are we going on our honeymoon, Edward?" I had been surprised when he asked me if he could plan it, but I couldn't deny him anything.

He nipped my skin lightly before pulling back. "It's a surprise, love."

Groaning, I pouted my lower lip out. "You know how I feel about surprises. Please?" I whispered.

The determination he held in his eyes, faltered as I pled with him. He sighed when I asked again. "Bella, I want our honeymoon to be perfect for you. Making this a surprise is more for me than for you." He ran his fingers through my hair, playing with the ends.

Biting my lip, I gave in. "Fine, keep it a surprise."

We heard Renee and Phil coming back outside, laughing about something. "Oh, Bella, Esme has agreed to keep me informed with how the plans are coming along. I want to help where I can." She squealed; her arms around Phil as he checked on the food.

Edward rubbed my back with soothing circles, sensing my immediate tension at her words. I should have known better than to hope for a nice simple wedding. "Great, Mom."

"Maybe you can even wear my dress."

* * *

_I know it has been forever since I updated this story and I am so incredibly sorry. I wrote two entries for the **Age of Edward **contest and they just completely took over. Both of my stories (**The Mayan Priestess** and **The Secret Overheard**) are in the second round of voting, check them out if you haven't already and go to the **Age of Edward** profile to vote. Oh and I put a link in my profile to the fic recommendation I wrote for TLYDF, check that out as well if you haven't already. In case you haven't heard, kyla713 and myself are starting a podcast. It's called Cullens Court Cast and we are in the process of getting the first episode up on iTunes. http://cullenscourtcast[dot]blogspot[dot]com is the address for the blog which is still under construction._

_Voting is still going on with the **Sparkle Awards** and the **Razzle Dazzle Awards**. This story and NOSTP are up for those awards, so please vote for them if haven't already. Check out my profile for the links.  
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_So, I am going to be starting back to school, my last year, in a few weeks. Since life will most likely be crazy busy during that time, my goal is to get as many chapters written for my stories as I can. That way you won't be waiting forever for an update. Hopefully I can get that done now since I'm not participating in anymore contests and such. My next update will be for **FTLOK**, that story is basically planned out now. I know exactly where I'm going with it and will most likely be able to get the chapters written quicker for it._

_Thank you guys so much for sticking with me and continuing to read my stories, you have no idea how humbled I am by that fact. Please review, let me know what you thought and check out my profile as well for links to my story threads over on twilighted.  
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	10. A Kiss Can Heal a Wounded Heart

_I don't own Twilight. all Stephenie Meyer._

_Check out the A/N at the bottom when you finish._

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* * *

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Chapter Ten

A Kiss can Heal a Wounded Heart

I managed to explain to Renee, without any help from Edward, that Alice had already found a wedding dress for me, and she would not be denied. With a good natured smile and a shrug of her shoulders, Renee seemed to let it go.

Edward had left the table and was helping Phil bring the food outside as I talked with her. A knowing smirk graced his lips as he set a couple of plates down in the middle. He winked at me and my only response was a glare, which seemed to greatly amuse him.

With the food set out and everyone gathered around the table, we all started to eat. Renee filled us in on Phil's game schedule, making sure that they would be available for the wedding. The more she talked, the more excited she became. I glanced over at Edward when she suggested coming in a week early to help with any last minute plans, begging him silently to do something.

He deftly steered the conversation away from flowers and tulle, mentioning a promotion that he was up for at the hospital. If he got it then it would mean fewer shifts and he would have a set number of patients as well as administrative duties. The pride that he took in his work was evident as he continued to explain the benefits of the possible promotion.

"You deserve this," I whispered to him when Renee and Phil brought the dirty dishes inside. "I'm so proud of you."

Lowering his head slightly, I could tell that he was slightly embarrassed by my praise. "Thank you." His cheeks were tinged a slight pink.

"Are you guys ready for dessert?" Renee called from inside the house. I couldn't help chuckling at her excitement. She came back out carrying the dessert tray, a bright smile lighting up her features.

I was beyond full, but couldn't disappoint my mother, so I ate one of the brownie's and then split another one with Edward. He winked at me as we chewed the chocolate treat, letting out small moans of delight. The sparkle in his eyes had my stomach fluttering with butterflies. He was so beautiful and I loved to see him happy.

Cleaning up the dishes took some time, so I went into the kitchen with Renee to help. We worked together quietly for a bit, the only sounds in the room coming from the sink filled with water and the clanging dishes.

"Renee, can I ask you something?" I rinsed off one of the dishes before handing it to her to dry.

"Of course, baby. What's on your mind?" She finished wiping the dish off and then placed it in the cabinet.

I kept my eyes trained on the sink, this was not a conversation I dreamed I would ever be having with my mother. "When you want to do something romantic for Phil, what exactly is it that you do? And, please spare me the gory details because then I'll have to gouge out my own eyes."

She laughed at me, shaking her head. "Are you asking for a reason, or just for curiosities sake?"

Keeping my eyes on the sink, I let out a sigh. "Things have been so wonderful with Edward lately, we have really been opening up to each other. But, there is so much that I have to make up for. I want to do something for him for a change."

Thankfully, Renee didn't tease me or ask any further questions. She continued to stack the bowls, glasses, and dishes wherever they were supposed to go. "It depends on what mood you're trying to create. For a more intimate setting usually softer lighting, candles, wine, maybe an awaiting bubble bath, sexy lingerie or little notes for him to read in order to find you work very well."

Hearing my mother talk about this stuff was probably worse than the time Charlie tried to have the birds and the bees talk with me. He grunted and grumbled while I buried my head between my knees, trying desperately to block out his voice. We had both been too embarrassed to even look at each other after that.

"But, if you're just wanting something romantic and sweet, I suggest using a small combination of what I mentioned before." Renee placed the dried serving pieces on the counter in front of her, reaching out for the next item. "Background music is always good, and you can make dinner or a special dessert."

I bit my lip, handing her the last dish and thinking over what she said.

We finished cleaning up the kitchen, wiping down the counter and putting the rest of the brownies in a container, before heading to the entryway.

"You know, Bella, if you're in need of something flirty to wear, we can always pick something up tomorrow when we go shopping." Renee teased.

I groaned internally. She had insisted that we have some much needed girl time together when Phil asked Edward if he wanted to go to the batting cages. They would get to spend the afternoon doing whatever it is that men do, while I contemplated ways to end our mother/daughter time without hurting her feelings.

"That's alright, Mom. Alice has been forcing me to wear sexy lingerie and the like since I was sixteen. I think that I've got that part covered," I whispered to her before finding Edward and walking over to him.

"Please tell me you're joking, Bella." Renee's normally 'go with the flow' attitude all but vanished as the color drained from her face. "You are, right?"

I tried to hide the smirk spreading across my lips, twining my fingers with Edward's and winking up at him. Being able to tease her for a change was great. I was enjoying seeing her squirm uncomfortably for once.

"Why does your mother look as though she is going to be ill?" Edward asked, his lips grazing my ear as he spoke.

Chuckling, I kissed his shoulder. "I'll tell you later." Once my features were composed again, I turned back to face Renee. "Thanks for dinner, Mom. We'll see you both, bright and early tomorrow morning." I kissed her cheek quickly and then tugged Edward toward the door. "Good night, Phil."

* * *

"You are too much, Bella. I can't believe that you said that to her." Edward shook his head, adjusting the pajama bottoms he had changed into after showering.

I was in the bathroom with the door open, brushing my teeth as I told him part of the conversation that Renee and I had. Telling him the reason why she had made the comment would have defeated the purpose behind that conversation.

"Knowing her though, she'll probably find some way to get me back tomorrow. I don't think that I should go out with her." I rinsed my mouth out quickly and moved to the doorway, smiling at Edward expectantly.

"Oh no. You made a promise, just like I did." He shook his head at me, smiling my favorite crooked grin. "We are not backing out."

"Fine." I sighed, turning off the light in the bathroom before making my way to the bed. "If I come back with some sort of bar pierced through my body or ink tattooed on my skin, it'll be on your head."

Edward didn't say anything at first, pulling back the covers and turning off the lamp next to the bed. "If you do get a piercing, tell Renee that I am quite partial to anything hidden from plain view." The amusement in his voice was evident as he lay down on the bed.

My jaw dropped, realizing that he was teasing me. Our relationship had shifted since our big talk, allowing us to feel more comfortable around each other and to be more open. It had been wonderful not having to worry about tiptoeing around each other for fear of saying the wrong thing.

"Well I could always model it for you, too. That is, if you think you can handle it." I could hardly believe those words were coming from me. Flirtatious, embolden, when did those words begin applying to me?

In a movement too fast for me to be able to respond to, Edward had his body hovering over mine, pressing me gently into the mattress. My breath quickened, not out of fear, but surprise. A few weeks ago he wouldn't have even considered trying something like this; it was amazing how far we had come.

"Believe me, Isabella, I can handle anything you're willing to give me." He pressed his forehead to mine and ran his hand along my side, bunching the shirt I was wearing in his fist when he'd grip me for emphasis. "But, not until you are ready. I refuse to have you do something because you think it's what I want or need."

"Did you ever think that maybe I am ready, to at least try… some things?" I asked softly, feeling my cheeks redden. All teasing aside, I wanted to explore a little more and become acquainted with each other in a new way.

Moving slightly so that he was laying on his side now, Edward cupped my cheek in his hand and slowly stroked his thumb across my skin. My body shivered, enjoying the tingles his touch created in me. "Love, this morning was the first time you let me see the scars on your hips."

"I know. I just…"

"Saying no like this isn't easy for me, Bella. We've come such a long way and I don't want that to be ruined because we pushed." He was afraid, too. Edward loved me and wanted us to have more, but he was also afraid.

I sighed, doing my best to hide the disappointment I felt at his words. Perhaps my decision to do something special for him had come at just the right time. This morning had been exactly what I needed, to really know that Edward found me attractive in spite of the damage that had been done to my body. I wasn't ready for anything more than that, but maybe if we took things slowly we could both be at that place when the time came.

Turning my head, I pressed a kiss into the palm of his hand and nodded my head. "All right," I whispered. This was something I would have to show him.

He adjusted himself so that he was lying on his back and tucked me into his side, taking my hand in his and resting it on his chest. Neither of us spoke as we thought over the resultant conversation from our playful teasing. I was grateful to have a better understanding of what Edward was thinking. We both wanted to please the other and do what we thought was best for them, but hadn't found just the right balance to make that possible.

Snuggling closer to him, I lay my head across his chest and listened to the gentle beat of his heart, the perfect rhythm to my own. We were compatible. I eventually found myself drifting off to sleep as I thought about just what to do for Edward tomorrow.

In the morning I woke up before him, which was a rare occurrence, and went into the bathroom to call down to the front desk. I gave them a list of everything that I wanted brought to the room including candles and a dessert from the menu, setting up a specific time for it all to be brought to the room and giving them permission to do so while I was out.

Once I was showered and dressed, I stepped out into the room to find Edward stretching his back and shoulders. His muscles rippled with each movement, I sight I hadn't really paid much attention to until recently.

He was beautiful.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from him, marveling at how graceful he was even when doing something as simple as stretching. Finally, he reached his arms over his head and leaned back, holding the position for a moment.

We left a few minutes later and made our way to Renee's house. I promised him that I would have her bring me back to the hotel, assuring him that would call if anything happened. Being apart from each other was becoming easier to handle. The ache never really went away, but making it through the day wasn't as difficult as it used to be.

Renee was waiting for me inside with a steaming cup of coffee. She knew me too well. Her plan for the day was to go shopping for the perfect pair of shoes, then have a few spa treatments done, and maybe even stop by the bookstore before bringing me back.

Travel mug in hand, I followed my mother out to her car and tried to steal myself for a long day. She wasn't nearly as bad as Alice, but once Renee had an idea in her head, there wasn't anything that could stop her.

So, about five stores and two refills of Starbucks coffee later, I found myself surrounded by discarded shoes that Renee had me try on and I then vetoed. Stilettos and I were never meant to friends.

"Bella," Renee called, holding a new box of shoes in front of me. "Can I ask you something?"

I took the top off and placed the box on the arm rest, the only open place around me. "Of course, Mom. Is something wrong?" Looking inside of the box, I realized that Renee had brought me some really nice boots. These I could work with.

"Not at all." Renee smiled, sitting opposite me. I knew that look very well, she was about to say something that she knew would upset me. "I was just wondering if you've worked things out with Jacob. You know, since your big fight with Edward."

Keeping my eyes on my feet as I slid one of the boots on, and then the other, I chewed on my lip and said the first thing that came to my mind. "That's not a question, Mom."

"Have you tried to talk to Jacob since your fight?" Even though I knew that she was becoming frustrated with me, her features never gave her away. Renee always appeared to be the picture of ease, something that I had envied about her.

My eyes welled up with tears and I shook my head. I wasn't ready to have this discussion yet, things were going well and I didn't want that to change. Before she could see the tears, I went over to the one of the mirrors to see how the boots looked on.

Giving me a few seconds, Renee eventually stood up and came to stand next to me, looking at me through the mirror. "I didn't mean to upset you, baby." She put her arm around my shoulder and kissed the top of my head. "It's just… I know how long it took for you to get your friendship back on track and I'd hate for it to happen again."

Taking in a deep breath and then turning so that I was facing Renee, I took her hands in mine and pressed our foreheads together. Even though we didn't get to spend very much time together anymore, the few moments that we did were very special. "Thank you, Mom. For caring enough. I'm so lucky to have you," I whispered.

She pulled me into a hug, rubbing my back before releasing me. She gingerly wiped away the stray tears that had fallen down my cheeks and then turned us toward the mirror again. "I think that these are perfect. What about you?"

I bit my lip, holding back a smile. She wasn't pushing me to talk about Jacob and I appreciated that. "I think that your right." They were black and made of a pretty giving material, faux string tied up the front, and the boots reached up to my knees.

"Why don't you go put them in the box and I'll take them up to the front to pay for them," she suggested.

"How about you let me pay for both of them? The money that I made on my book has just been sitting in an account." I looked to her hopefully. "Can I do this for you, please?" I couldn't help squealing a little when she nodded her agreement and went over to our chairs to put the boots back in their box and pick up the shoes Renee had chosen.

The sales woman at the cash register watched me as I placed the pairs of shoes on the counter, a look of disdain clear in her eyes. Without a word she rang up our purchases and entered some information into her computer. "Your total comes to three-hundred and fifteen dollars and fifty-four cents."

Opening my wallet and pulling out the bank card for the particular account I wanted, I gave the card to the sales woman with a roll of my eyes. Phil must have been doing very well for himself if the prospect of spending this amount of money didn't even faze my mother.

After signing my receipt and grabbing our bags so that we could leave, I found Renee talking on her cell phone outside.

"Pizza? Sure, I'll order it when we finish up at the spa and pick it up on my way home." The smile in her voice was evident. "I know. I miss you, too. Bye, Phil."

I cleared my throat softly, grinning when she jumped at the sound. Holding out the bag with her shoes, Renee quickly took it and began walking down the street. I caught up to her and walked with her in silence, amused that she was embarrassed.

"Not a word, Isabella," she grumbled next to me.

Shrugging my shoulders, I continued walking. "I don't know what you're talking about."

* * *

To my relief, our afternoon at the spa didn't last as long as I had been expecting. We had our manicure and pedicure treatments done together, being completely pampered. My legs felt like jelly by the time we left and I was grateful to have been dressed in baggy sweat pants.

I hugged my mother when she pulled up in front of the hotel. "Thank you for everything, Mom. I'm sorry that this visit has to be so short."

She laughed and pulled back. "Oh, Bella, I'm just so thrilled that I got to see you. It's been too long."

"Well, the wedding is in a few months, so we'll get to see each other then, too." I was tingling all over at the mere mention my wedding to Edward. Our day was so close now and yet so far away. The fact that I had been afraid before was no longer an issue, it seemed almost laughable now.

Renee laughed again. "You are going to make such a beautiful bride, honey. I can hardly wait to see you in your beautiful dress and to help with the preparations."

I hugged her again. "Thanks."

She kissed my cheek before I climbed out of her car and waved as she drove off.

My excitement over Edward's surprise had been building all afternoon, and I could hardly wait to return to our room. Part of me also feared that this would end up being a mistake. After our talk the other night, I understood a little better where Edward was coming from. He spent so much time taking care of me and now it was my chance to be there for him, to prove to him that we really were doing well.

Taking the elevator to our suite, I called Edward to find out when he would be back. He answered just as I opened the door and gasped at the sight before me. The concierge had done a beautiful job of setting the room up, a few of the hotel butlers still putting the final touches on everything.

Working quickly and efficiently, I noticed that one was finishing lighting the candles that had been strategically placed around the room, another placed a vase of lilacs on the coffee table, and the last guy came out of the kitchen after most likely placing the strawberries in the refrigerator.

"Bella, sweetheart, is everything alright?" Edward's voice broke through my thoughts, sounding slightly concerned.

I shook my head, trying to compose myself so I that I didn't give anything away, and smiled to the staff members as they quietly left the room. "Sorry. I almost tripped stepping off of the elevator."

He chuckled softly. "Oh, Bella, what am I going to do with you?"

Feeling my cheeks flush, I made my way to the main bedroom, lying across the pillows.

"Don't ever change. I love you just the way you are," his voice lowered as he spoke. "Clumsy feet and all."

I bit my lip shyly, he always knew just what to say to make me melt. "Edward."

He chuckled again. "I got Greek for dinner. Is there anything else you would like while I'm out?"

"Would you mind picking up a bottle of wine on your way back? I would have myself, but you know more about that than I do." It would also go perfectly with the strawberries for dessert.

"That shouldn't be a problem, I know just what to get." There was a couple of beeps in the background. "I should be back in about fifteen minutes."

After saying quick goodbyes, we ended the call. I continued to lie against the pillows for a couple more minutes, before forcing myself to climb off of the bed. Edward had worn his Dartmouth shirt to bed the previous night and it smelled like him now. I grinned, finding it slung over his bag, and brought it to the bathroom along with a pair of boy shorts. I changed into them, leaving my clothes from earlier on the counter.

Leaving the bathroom before I could change my mind, I went to my bag and pulled out my iPod. There was a stereo connection for the device in the living room, so once I found the right playlist, I plugged it in and pressed play. The sounds of a Regina Spektor song filled the room, a mixture of our favorites on this particular set.

I sat down on the couch and closed my eyes, letting the music calm me as I waited for Edward to return. Only, just as I began to relax and settle into the cushions, I heard a click come from the lock on the door and then it slung open.

Rising to my feet quickly, I stumbled over to where he was and bit my lip nervously as I waited for his response.

His eyes were widened and his mouth hung open, but no sound came from his lips or movement from his feet as he stood at the front of the room. I was beginning to think that maybe this had been a horrible mistake when he finally cleared his throat. "Wh-what is all of this?" He didn't sound angry, thankfully.

"Umm… well… it's a surprise," I stuttered, playing with the hem of his shirt. "Tonight was going to be about you. For a change."

Edward stepped further into the room, setting the bags he'd been holding down and taking in the changes that had been made to the room. I stayed rooted to my spot, waiting anxiously for his response as I worried again that I had made the wrong decision. When the silence finally became too much, I turned to find him, only to hit something hard and warm.

It was Edward.

He didn't look angry. In fact, his eyes were practically glowing as he stared down at me, tightening his arms around my waist. "You did all of this? For me?" The disbelief and wonderment in his voice made my breathing hitch. There was no doubt in my mind now that I had done the right thing.

I brought my hands to his chest and placed one over his heart, only able to nod my head in answer to his questions.

A tear fell down his cheek as he closed his eyes tightly.

"This isn't much, but you deserve it and so much more," I whispered, stepping up on my tip toes to kiss the tear away.

He trembled under my touch, keeping a firm grip on my body.

I set my feet firmly on the ground again before continuing to speak. "Why don't you go change your clothes, make yourself a little more comfortable, and I'll get everything ready in here. We can watch a movie or just sit and talk, whatever you want to do." I smiled shyly up at him, trying to appear confident as I stood before him in the least amount of clothing I had ever worn in his presence.

"O-okay." He pressed a kiss to my forehead before letting go of me and making his way into the master bedroom.

Edward came back out a few minutes later in a pair of his own sweat pants and a t-shirt, his hair even messier than usual and some stubble making its presence known along his jaw. He made his way slowly to the couch, a sheepish expression on his face as he sat down next to me.

The coffee table in front of us had the containers of takeout food arranged in order of consumption, and the plastic forks placed next to them. I also managed to open the bottle of wine and poured us each a glass of the red liquid.

I opened my mouth to say something, but he took me by surprise by gently pulling me into his lap. He adjusted me so that my legs were on either side of his hips and I was facing him. "You are beyond words." I wrapped my arms around his neck and twined my fingers in his hair, scratching his scalp the way that I used to. His words helped to ease the tension that had been coursing through me.

We sat like that for a quite some time, neither of us speaking. The only other movements being Edward's lips as they softly grazed the side of my neck and along my collarbone, his breath tickling my skin.

Sitting like this, no words needed, felt completely natural and comfortable. I felt my cheeks heat up at his grunts of approval, happy that I could make him feel that way. He seemed to be trying his best keep me at ease as well, gliding his fingers over my thighs in passing and murmuring his approval of my attire.

It both excited and frightened me.

"Mmm. I love you." Edward's lips brushed my skin one last time before he pulled back to look into my eyes.

"I love you, too." I gave his hair a light tug before releasing it. "Dinner is probably cold by now. We can re-heat it if you want to."

He looked at me strangely for a moment, and then glanced down at the table behind me, recognition settling over his features at the sight of our abandoned food. "You stay right here. I'll go warm this up and you can get started on the salad if you'd like." Edward slid me off of his body and back onto the couch, pressing his lips to the top of my head.

Eating had been all but impossible with Edward holding me in his lap and refusing to release me, but I couldn't find in me to care. If this was going to make him happy then who was I to complain?

After our failed attempt with dinner, I managed to talk him into letting me go to the kitchen to get our dessert while he refilled the wine glasses. The strawberries looked incredible when I brought them out and I couldn't help giggling when he decided to feed me one of them. It was romantic and intimate and perfect.

Once everything was cleaned up and put away, we went into the bedroom and we held each other close. We talked into the early morning hours about our weekend and the changes that had been brought about during that time. Some were good and others needed time, but we both agreed that they needed to happen.

The most difficult conversation though was about Jacob. We both knew it wouldn't be easy, but working things out with him would be an important step in our moving forward. He deserved to have closure as well.

And for the first time, I fell asleep with Edward in my arms and his head resting against my chest. I was offering him comfort, and it felt right.

* * *

_*hangs head in shame*_

_I know that it has been an appallingly long time since I've updated this story and I am so beyond sorry. I started back at college full time this year and it was a major adjustment, plus I'm graduating in just under 3 weeks (*squee*), so my life has been absolutely crazy as of late. But, that **does not** mean that I am giving up on any of my stories. Each and every one of them will be completed, and that is a promise.  
_

_Now, for a little news. For any of you that are also reading **For The Love of a King**, I am offering an audio recording/audio book of this story for **FGB** in June, **kyla713** and I are also offering two guests spots on our **podcast** that we co-host, and I am also offering a continuation of the one-shot I wrote for For The Love of Jasper Contest **"Touched"**. More information will be available as the **Fandom Gives Back Auction** nears._

_The other stories that I have mentioned, a one-shot that I am co-writing with **SorceressCirce**, a small novella called Beyond the Lens, a Carlisle and Esme one-shot, as well as more of my AU fic **Always Meant to Be** are still underway and will be posted as soon as they are finished. Be sure to keep your eyes open for them and put me on author alert if you haven't already so you can read them as soon as they are._

_Thank you to everyone for your continued support and interest in this little story. You have no idea what it means to me. For more information on updates you can check out **my blog**, the link is in my profile as well as links to my story threads on the Twilighted forums, and you can also follow me on twitter: **maganbagan**. I try to post teasers and updates about my progress when I can. Thank you again!_


	11. To Begin Again

_I don't own Twilight. all Stephenie Meyer.

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_

Chapter Eleven

To Begin Again

I never wanted to forget what we found in Jacksonville. Something within our relationship changed, shifted, and it was wonderful. We were at a good place, an open and honest place that just seemed right. It fit. The hesitancy that always seemed to be there before was slowly beginning to fade, gentle touches and vulnerability taking its place.

Settling back into our routine that Monday morning was not easy, but we were able to do so, neither of us wanting to be apart. This time it wasn't out of fear, though, but love and longing.

This was how it always should have been.

We went about our daily lives, working and writing, never losing sight of what we had. Our therapy sessions began to get easier as well. It was still taking time, but I was finally able to speak about my fears and insecurities without worrying that my confessions would somehow hurt or disappoint Edward. Everything we had been through had gotten us to that place, a place of complete trust.

Just like everyone else I had good and bad days, but my bad days were fewer and far between lately. On the days where things were bleaker, Jasper would kindly meet with me just let me voice what I was going through.

I was finally healing.

_We _were finally healing.

Alice and Rosalie came by in the evenings to go over wedding plans, usually a few times a week. They were nothing short of amazing in how quickly they were able to organize and gather ideas. When we'd meet they'd show me a few samples of what they had been looking at and help me pick the perfect one.

Each week had been perfectly planned so that we'd cover a certain section of items and then move on to the next set. I don't know how either of them did, but the planning ran more smoothly than I could have ever dreamed.

The only time I really complained was when we actually had to go to locations to decide what sample would work. That happened when Alice found four different chefs that were just "perfect" and we had to taste a sampling of the food they would prepare, and also when Rosalie found a few bands for the reception.

Charlie and I also spent more time talking. It had been awkward at first, but he was my father and I didn't want to lose contact with him again. He also tried to encourage me to make things right with Jacob each time in his not so subtle way. Knowing that he was hurting made it even more difficult.

I didn't want to be the reason he was in pain, but until Edward was ready to deal with it I wouldn't bring the idea up.

When we were finally a few weeks away from the wedding Rosalie and Alice decided it was time to throw have my bachelorette/bridal shower parties. They thought that the weekend would be perfect. So, when we had our weekly dinner they brought the idea up to me and I fought them on it as long as I could. The idea of a party in which I would be receiving lingerie and other such items made me nervous and uncomfortable. I just… didn't want to think about.

But when Edward told me that Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle wanted to take him camping during that time, I eventually caved. Alice and Rosalie were thrilled with that and immediately began making plans.

My face was set in a permanent pout the rest of the evening, but I couldn't help becoming slightly more enthusiastic when they told me some of their plans. I laid down a few ground rules, mostly stating that there could be no strippers or drunken karaoke, but I let them have their fun.

The following morning I woke up not long after Edward had. Angela and I were going to meet up at a coffee shop we had been frequenting to go over a few more marketing and advertising strategies to get the news out about my book and I had about an hour before I had to be there.

As I made my way to the bathroom I heard Edward talking on his cell phone out in the hall, so I did my best to stay quiet before closing the door. Once I finished, I quietly made my way out and stopped in my tracks when I noticed Edward standing in the door with a look of complete shock on his face.

"Edward, are you alright?" I asked softly.

He blinked his eyes a few times before finally looking up at me. "That was my boss. I got the promotion."

"Are you serious?" I asked softly, grinning widely when he began nodding his head emphatically. I squealed and ran across the room, flinging myself into his arms without a hint of hesitancy. "Oh that's wonderful. I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you, Bella." He spun me around the room, kissing along my temple and down to my jaw. "Now I'll be off of the ER rotation and can take the cases that I want to. I'll be dealing with more paperwork from other doctor's, but it'll be worth it."

I pulled back slightly so that I could look into his eyes, they were a bright green that glowed with pleasure. "You deserve this, Edward. I am so happy for you."

"We should go out tonight and celebrate." He set me back on my feet, his arms never leaving my waist.

"Of course, anywhere you want to go." I couldn't have been more thrilled for him and wanted to ask the questions that were filling my head, but decided they could wait until tonight. "Congratulations."

His face lit up with pride, my favorite crooked grin dancing across his lips as the news truly began to sink in. This was a very good thing for him, all of his hard work and determination paying off. "Thank you," he whispered before leaning down and lightly kissing me on the lips.

I let my hand drift down along his chest, reveling in the moment until I chanced a glance at the alarm clock on Edward's nightstand. "As much as I am enjoying this, I have to finish getting ready and you, Mr. Cullen, have a shift to get to."

"Actually, my supervisor wants me to come in to begin the transfer paperwork and go over the details and expectations for this position. I should be back later this afternoon," he explained.

"That sounds perfect." I patted his chest before stepping out of his arms and making my way to the closet to get dressed. "My meeting with Angela should be done pretty early today, I can call you when I'm finished and we can decide what you want to do tonight," I called out to him.

Just as I was zipping up the back of my skirt, Edward knocked on the closet door and opened it slightly. "I'll keep my cell phone on me just in case. Be careful love."

I winked at him and blew him a kiss before he left, blushing at our exchange and how freely we did it, without a thought in the world. We were finally at a good place.

Once I was dressed and ready to go, I left the apartment and took a taxi to the coffee shop where Angela and I were meeting. She was just sitting down at an outside table when I arrived, motioning to one of the waiters to come take our orders.

Angela began going over the plans for promoting my book once our drinks and scones arrived. I sat back and listened to her talk, only chiming in when I needed clarification on certain issues, but for the most part she was incredibly efficient. By the time the meeting came to an end I was assured that I was in capable hands.

"Well, I think that about covers it." Angela closed her lap top and leaned back in her chair. "A couple of local book signings should really help and posting the online recording of you reading an excerpt will be just perfect. Everything will be low key and there will be a couple of off duty police officers there just in case. You're website is almost complete?"

"Yes, it should be launched by the end of the week." I took one final sip of coffee and pushed the mug aside. "I just want to thank you again for all of the work you've put in to helping this book get published, I don't think I could have gotten this far without you."

Angela waved me off good-naturedly, putting her lap top in the messenger bag at her feet. "Nonsense, Bella. This is your time now. I'm just glad I was able to help you along the way." She leaned over and hugged me quickly. "Give that fiancé of yours a hug for me."

"I will. Tell Ben hello for me." We stood up from the table, said one more farewell, and went our separate ways. Our meeting had gone better than I had anticipated. Angela had gone above and beyond in helping me with ideas so I wouldn't have to tour. I couldn't have asked for a better editor.

Maybe Alice and Rosalie could help me plan something special to do for her.

By the time I got home it was a little after one o'clock. Edward was probably waiting for my call, so I pulled my cell phone out and pressed the speed dial I had programmed for his number.

He answered the phone, laughing his beautiful laugh. "I was just thinking about you. Mmmm, I shouldn't be too much longer, probably no more than hour."

"Good." I settled onto the couch in the living room and hugged one of the pillows. "In the meantime, where would you like to go for dinner tonight? Alice mentioned there was a French restaurant in Pike Place that she really enjoyed. Apparently it has just the right atmosphere and all of the staff members are really snooty and pretentious."

"That sounds perfect. I haven't had any French cuisine in a while," he chuckled.

"Wonderful, I'll call when we hang up and make a reservation." I couldn't help smiling.

"So, how did you're meeting with Angela go?" Edward asked softly.

I twirled a lock of hair around my finger. "Very well. She has gone above and beyond the call of duty, helping me find ways to still promote the book. I can barely wait to get started."

"Love, I'm so happy to hear that. This may sound incredibly selfish of me, but I'm not sure I would have like having you gone those few months. We'll be newlyweds by that time and not having you in my bed would be unbearable," he admitted.

"I feel the exact same way," I told him, suddenly feeling shy.

"Just a few short weeks left. Getting any cold feet," he teased.

"My feet are toasty warm, so I'm afraid you're stuck with me." I bit my lip.

"A burden I'll proudly bear." The husky deep tones of his voice never failed to send a shiver through my body.

There were a few muffled voices in the background on his end began speaking. "Forgive me, but I have to get back," he lowered his voice as he spoke. "I'll be home soon."

"Okay, bye." I waited until I heard him hang up before pulling the phone away from my ear. Even just talking over the phone with him filled my stomach with butterflies and made my body tingle.

Giving myself a moment to calm down, I stared up at the ceiling and continued to hug one of the couch pillows tightly. We had certainly come such a long way together. I could hardly wait to become Isabella Marie Cullen, to give myself to my husband in every way, to share our lives together as a family.

I was finally and completely ready.

Ooo~Ooo~Ooo~Ooo~Ooo

Our reservation for that evening was at showered and dressed first so that I wouldn't have to rush and waited in the living room for me. I could hear the channels on the television flipping back and forth until he finally settled on a particular station, a familiar dialogue playing.

"_He didn't fall? Inconceivable_!"

"_You keep saying that word. I do not think it means what you think it means_…"

Biting my lip to keep from laughing out loud, I shook my head. He liked to complain about how often I watched that movie, but I knew that he liked it.

Unable to stop myself, I giggled softly, stepping into the black dress I had decided on wearing and slid it up my body. The silky fabric felt cool against my skin as I pulled the zipper up along the side and fastened the final hook in place. It really was a beautiful dress, and I had to admit that it was sexy. It left an air of mystery and I hoped Edward would appreciate it.

I quickly did my hair and makeup, going with the less is more strategy, before slipping into a pair of heels that I could surprisingly navigate around in.

With one last glance in the mirror, I grabbed my clutch and made my way downstairs. Edward still had his attention on the television and hadn't heard me come into the room yet, so I walked over to the back of the couch and leaned down on it, close to his ear. "I will tell him 'Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die,'" I whispered along with the actor.

Edward jumped slightly, groaning when he realized that he had been caught. "Are you ready to go?"

I kissed his cheek and nodded my head. "You were a little distracted when I came in the room. Could it be that you were too engrossed in the amazingness that is _The Princess Bride_?" I teased him, enjoying watching him squirm.

He shook his head, standing up and making his way around the couch to where I was. "I admit nothing." And then I watched as he took me in, starting from my legs and slowly working his way up my body to my eyes, my favorite grin curving around his lips and desire darkening his eyes. "You look stunning."

My body trembled at the husky note of his words, a warm flush rising against my skin. What was this man doing to me? I had never felt anything like this before. It frightened and excited me at the same time. "Thank you," I finally managed to whisper.

Closing the distance between us, Edward stood right in front of me, hovering but not touching. The anticipation of his nearness was driving me crazy as I waited for a kiss, caress, anything. "Are you ready?" he finally whispered, his breath tickling my skin as he spoke.

Afraid to speak, I gave a quick nod of my head.

His smiled widened and he stepped back, effectively breaking the spell his nearness had produced, and motioned toward the elevator.

I wanted to glare at him, to stomp over to the elevator and huff at the fact that he was teasing me, but I found that I actually liked it. The progress that we had made with each other was astounding, and the fact that we were now at a place where we could do that one another without fear filled me with pleasure. So, I waited a few seconds until I was confident that I could walk without stumbling, and walked to the elevator, pressing the button for the doors.

Edward stood next to me as we waited for the doors to open. He kept the same careful distance between us, close enough to touch but far enough away to create a longing for more. It wasn't until we got down to the car and he was pulling out into the street that Edward finally took my hand in his, twining our fingers together and lightly stroking the back of my hand with his thumb.

The drive to Pike Place Market was quiet, but neither of us seemed to mind. I occasionally glanced out the window to look at our surroundings, but mainly watched Edward as he drove, admiring the way he held himself with such confidence.

Once we arrived at the market and parked the car, Edward went in search of a map to double check that he had the location of the restaurant correct. We had gotten there a bit earlier than our reservation due to Edward's driving, so he suggested that we take a walk around the area and see if there was anywhere else we'd like to go after our meal.

I remembered, as we made our way through the outdoor market area that Edward had done his best to distract me from my earlier teasing. "You know you weren't being fair earlier, Edward," I grumbled.

He chuckled, softly. "Neither were you, coming downstairs in this incredibly alluring dress. I couldn't help myself."

"Alright. Well, just so you know, we're watching that movie tonight and possibly even tomorrow night as well," I huffed.

With a soft groan, Edward leaned in and brushed his lips just below my ear, kissing and gently biting his way down my neck in his attempt to distract me. "I can think of better ways to spend that time."

I bit my lip to keep from giggling, his lips felt so good against my skin, as he tried to distract me again. He licked and sucked his way down my neck, sending tingles throughout my body. For a split second my eyes opened as I turned in Edward's grasp, but it was just enough time for me to notice the one person I never expected to see, all muscles and deep russet skin.

Gasping slightly, I tugged on the sleeve of Edward's jacket, trying to gain his attention. "Jacob."

Edward's lips froze on my neck and he lifted his head to meet my eyes. "What?"

"Jacob. He's right over there." I could hear my voice crack as I spoke, motioning with my head to where he was standing and seeing that he had stopped in his tracks as well. "Maybe we should just head on over to the restaurant now. I'm sure we could get an earlier seating."

When he didn't say anything at first, I began to panic. Things had been going so well, I didn't want to lose all of the progress we had made. "No, um, maybe we should talk. After all, Jasper has been urging us for quite some time to speak with him." The set of his jaw was still tense as he spoke, but when his eyes met mine I couldn't find anything to contradict his words.

So I nodded, trying to prepare myself for whatever was about to happen.

My stomach twisted in knots as he placed his hand on the small of my back and led us in the direction where Jacob stood. In a silent exchange they both changed their direction toward a set of benches near a small fountain; it was placed in the middle of the market but seemed to be set apart from everything. It was beautiful and tranquil. There weren't any people in that area, so we could have our talk in peace.

I let my eyes dart over Jake's form as we reached the benches, surprised by how put together he seemed since the last time I had seen him. His black hair was shorter, a few strands managing to fall in front of his eyes, and some slight stubble had formed on his jaw. The black t-shirt he wore hugged the curves of his muscles, clinging tightly over every inch of him. Even though all I felt toward him was friendship, I could still admit that he was beautiful.

The silence as we sat on the benches, me in the middle of them, was deafening. I didn't like the uncertainty of the moment and was about ready to break it, when Edward finally cleared his throat. "There are a few things that I would like for us to get straight, Jacob."

Both men kept their eyes locked, like they were in a stand-off, and their bodies tensed.

"Let me say something first," Jacob held his hand up to stop Edward from continuing. When Edward didn't interrupt, Jacob moved his attention to me and my heart broke a little at his expression. "All I've ever wanted has been to take care of you, Bells. There was just something about you that I felt the need to protect, to make sure that you always felt safe.

"But, I haven't exactly made things very easy on you. When you made it clear that you didn't want me the same way, I didn't know how it handle it, and made things worse between us." He sighed, lowering his head in defeat. "I get it now. He's the one you want and I'll back off."

Clearing his throat, Jake turned his attention to Edward again. "You and I haven't exactly seen things eye to eye, but I'd come to think of us as friends. Just promise me that you'll take care of her."

"With everything that I have," Edward said, his jaw still slightly tense.

Taking Jake's hand in mine, I gave it a gentle squeeze. "Thank you," I whispered. "I know this wasn't easy for you, so thank you."

He nodded his head slightly, the tension in his shoulders never loosening. "As long as you're happy, that's all I care about."

I tried to smile. "I am, Jake. He's been so wonderful to me."

"Okay then." He sighed.

Edward kissed the top of my head, squeezing my shoulder in encouragement, and then he shocked us both by holding his hand out to Jacob to shake. "In spite of everything, you helped me protect Bella; I'll always be grateful to you for that," he told him as they awkwardly shook hands. "My first instinct was to warn you to keep away from her, to get you out of our lives for good, but that would hurt Bella."

He sighed, running a hand through his wild hair. "I may not always be comfortable with you two being in each others lives, but I won't stop you."

That was definitely not something I had expected him to say. I quickly glanced at him, tears forming in my eyes. "Thank you," I mouthed.

Ooo~Ooo~Ooo~Ooo~Ooo

We talked with Jacob until it was time for our reservation, the tension between them slowly easing the longer we talked. Before we left Jacob mentioned that he was meeting up with some of his friends from La Push. I had worried about him being on his own after we left, but felt better knowing he'd be with his buddies. The situation between us wasn't perfect, by any means, but at least we were trying. I couldn't ask for more.

Once we went our separate ways, Edward and I had a romantic evening together. I had been concerned that seeing Jake and dredging up those memories again would have completely ruined things, but it seemed to have the opposite effect. It was like a giant weight had been lifted off of our shoulders. Things were finally coming together.

When the weekend came and it was time to head to Forks, we packed up the Volvo after his shift at the hospital and I managed to talk him into allowing me to drive it. After I looked up at him through my lashes and whispered 'please' softly in his ear, he caved.

He grumbled at first that I drove too slow, but when I told him that he could control the music he quieted down.

Most of the drive was spent without either of us talking; a comfortable, familiar silence that felt natural between us. Unlike our first trip to his parent's house, I wasn't trembling with worry over returning to the town where I had been attacked and coming face to face with Esme and Carlisle again.

The memory brought a smile to my face. We had both come so far since those days. _I_ had come so far.

Carlisle, Jasper, and Emmett were packing up Emmett's Jeep when we arrived at the Cullen's home, arguing over the best way to fit everything in there. It was always quite a sight to watch them together, bickering over who had the best plan. No one was really ever angry with each other and they always ended with laughter.

I felt a wave of sadness hit me as Edward passed his bags and camping gear to his brother's. Being away from him still made me anxious, but I put a brave face on for his benefit. I knew that it was just as difficult for him and didn't want to make it any more painful than it needed to be.

Edward shut the trunk to the Volvo and then came over to me, placing my bag on the ground next to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and let out a soft sigh.

"Is it too late to ask what exactly this weekend in the woods bachelor party of yours will consist of?" I asked, burrowing closer into his embrace and breathing in his delicious scent.

He chuckled. "It'll mostly just be the five of us hiking to a good spot, setting up camp, and the male bonding thing. Although, I'm not really sure about that last one. That was Emmett's idea and I'm not sure how much I trust him at the moment."

Giggling, I stood up on my toes and pressed my lips to his softly for a moment. "Don't let Charlie try to bully you. He's a softy at heart." I hadn't expected him to go, but it made me glad that he was at least trying.

"Promise," he whispered against my lips before kissing me again.

We prolonged our goodbye as long as possible, holding each other close. My eyes welled up with tears when Emmett said that it was time for them to head out. Edward pressed a kiss to my forehead and lowered his arms from around me.

I made my way over to the porch where Rose, Alice, and Esme stood. We waved to the guys as Emmett sped off down the street, watching until they were out of sight.

"Alright my little petunia, it's time for our fabulous girl's weekend to commence." Alice squealed, clapping her hands excitedly. "First things first, setting up inside the house, we have a group of professionals to get us into a relaxing mood. They will be doing everything from massages and facials to waxing and nails. This first phase is all about pampering, so please enjoy it."

"First phase?"

"That's right. Trust me, you're going to love it."

Without another word she ushered me in to the house. True to her word there were people everywhere, flittering about as they got ready. Part of me hoped that she had been exaggerating on the details, but when I saw all of the effort that she made to make it all possible, I decided to suck it up and go with the flow as best as I could.

"Thank you." I smiled at Alice.

"Let's get started."

* * *

_I'm so sorry it's taking me so long to post updates. The only thing that I can say is that this story means so much to me, these characters, and I want to make sure that each chapter is just right. Otherwise, what's the point? So, thank you for those that are still sticking with me. You have no idea what it means to me._

_Voting is now open for Enchantments, the contest I'm co-hosting with **TallulahBelle** and **Lady_QE**. Stop by and check the stories out, if you haven't already, and cast your votes: _**http:/www[dot]fanfiction[dot]net/u/2504895/Enchantments_Contest**

_Be sure to put me on Author Alerts if you want to check out any on the auction pieces that I've been working on. Currently I just posted three chapters for **Always Meant to Be**, an AU fic that I absolutely love, I finished and passed along a Carlisle/Esme one-shot that will be up soon, and I'm working on the continuations for **Touched** and **Beyond the Lens**__. They are all posted on my profile if you'd like to check any of them out._

_I'm also on Twitter if you'd like to follow me: **maganbagan **(links in my profile)_


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